Life happens when you're making plans
by Nessaiya
Summary: Actually, they never planned on anything, life just happened. But the day of your wedding should be the best day of your life, and work out as you planned it, right? It's not that easy, though, when the day before your wedding actually sucks… Some short insights into the lives of a couple that was meant to be. Featuring female-Toni/male-Loki
1. Now: Prologue

**Story:** Actually, they never planned on anything, life just happened. But the day of your wedding should be the best day of your life, and work out as you planned it, right? It's not that easy, though, when the day before your wedding actually sucks…

 **Disclaimer:** Don't own anything, 'm just borrowing!

 **Author's note:** Some short insights into the lives of a couple that was meant to be. Featuring female-Toni/male-Loki.

* * *

 _ **Life happens when you're making plans**_

* * *

 **Now: Prologue**

Antonia Stark had never loathed Obadiah Stane and the 10 Rings as much as the day before her wedding. Her wedding dress was lovely, and she could live with the fact that _no way in hell_ she would be showing cleavage with the arc reactor logged in her sternum right above her breasts.

She hated the fact, though, that she was the one looking too buttoned up, even though all women around her were sporting renaissance dresses that did not reveal too much. Yeah, her hair looked great, and her make-up was flawless, but still… She was the fucking bride, after all, she should stand out of the crowd!

Ever since making it out alive of that cave in Afghanistan Toni had resorted to revealing backs, bare shoulders, jewelry outlining the fragile bone structure down her spine, drawing attention to her shoulder blades, her waist… it did not matter then that she covered up her front, for the reactor never to be seen in public.

On fucking Asgard, of course, you showed as little cleavage as possible, and definitely no low back. And thanks to the fact that her stomach was acting up on the mead, she could not even get drunk, so she was nipping on her water and craning her neck for her soon-to-be husband, wishing that this would be over soon. Wishing for the next day to come, when she could wear her lovely wedding dress with the lace in the back…

She startled when a hand touched said back, running down from her shoulder blades to the small of her back, a warm voice whispering into her ear: "You look lovely, my Dear."

"I look like somebody wrapped me in your Mom's old curtains, Lokes. I brought the red dress you like so much, and everybody told me it was inappropriate. It's my fucking wedding, for heaven's sake!"

Loki's pupils dilated slightly at the thought of _that dress_ , yes, he definitely appreciated it.


	2. Then: Becoming friends

**Then: Becoming friends**

He had almost killed her when they first met, utterly astonished when that fragile woman exited that suit of armor, when it had always been claimed a bodyguard of Stark was actually operating it, and she was offering him a drink and threatening him in the same breath.

 _The Other_ was still messing with his mind, in which curiosity and chaos were fighting a surging battle, curiosity spiked by this fearless woman who made a performance issues joke as he tried to mind control her, chaos taking over as he hauled her out of the window, flinching at the sound of breaking bones, being somewhat relieved when another suit almost ran him over while rushing to catch its creator.

She was thoroughly pissed at him because he had fractured her shoulder blade as he threw her out of the window. Yet, she moved heaven and hell to not have him decapitated by his not-father or tortured by S.H.I.E.L.D., after she found out that he, too, had been mind-controlled, and that there was a bigger threat right behind this.

She had made sure that the Tesseract as well as the scepter were put into the deepest locker on Asgard, revealing a Silvertongue that astonished Loki as well when she talked Thor into claiming both items, and it was her who offered her tower as a shelter as he could not really go anywhere, putting her own wellbeing at the stake as she went behind S.H.I.E.L.D.'s back to get them off his track.

Somehow he had ended up as another asset to the Avengers team, being told to _not fuck this up!_ as a weird guy who named himself Doom continuously attacked New York, while she was stuck with a sling around her body immobilizing the arm on the side of the fractured shoulder.

She kept annoying him because of her shoulder, though, he never took it seriously. He had almost killed her and he still remembered this oddly relieved feeling as the suit deployed. He could live with a little bickering.

After a rather ear-straining argument with Lady Pepper concerning some fund-raiser, he figured it was a bigger issue than he had thought, though. Stark (he dared not yet to call her Toni even though she was constantly offering) flat out refused to attend it, and at some point Pepper, her best friend, her shoulder to cry on had yelled at her to finally suck it up and live with the goddamn changes to her body.

Toni had locked herself in her workshop for four days straight, of course not going to the gala, running into the Trickster as she finally dragged herself out of it to get something more nutrient than this bitter black stuff called coffee.

Loki ended up offering her half of his midnight snack before even knowing it, and he certainly did not know why. They did not talk much that night. They did though in the many nights they kept running into each other after that, and thanks to Toni he suddenly did not only feel like an odd member of an even odder team, but like a valued and appreciated person.

While the other Avengers pretty much minded their own business, Toni would grow bored on basically everything that did not involve her suits, her other tinkering projects, or her electronic butler in an instant, and since the Avengers kept avoiding her almost as much as they avoided him, he ended up being dragged into many things she thought of to relief her boredom, introducing him to the crazy life on Midgard.

They became friends before the sling came off.


	3. Then: Nothing beautiful

**Then: Nothing beautiful…**

The red dress was a gift from Pepper as she came by to apologize, both women ending up crying, and Loki still did not dare to ask what the fuss was about. He just had started to get a little insight into the lives of the mortals surrounding him, and he was baffled to figure out with just whom he was dealing with. Toni obviously had the world at her feet and chose not to rule it, because it meant just more paperwork. Yet, there was so much more…

J.A.R.V.I.S. was calling out to him one night, practically begging for his help. Loki found a heavily drunk Toni on the balcony of her tower, soaked to her bones by the heavy downpour. He had known she was on the self-destructive side for quite a while now, because, hello, threatening a God without armor, working like crazy for too long without eating, taking a bunch of mentally not soooo stable super-heroes under her roof...

She gulped down the rest of the amber liquid in her bottle, wet brunette curls messily cascading down her back and face. Then, a concentrated look appeared on her face, her hand unshaking as she positioned the bottle over the balustrade.

As she let go off the bottle, she started counting, and Loki did not get quite why. They were so far up, she would neither see the bottle break into a billion pieces, nor would she hear it. Then he saw one of the glass planes of the entrance hall shatter.

Toni stopped counting. "'s too long… Halfway down I'd start regrettin' I jumped… or maybe I wouldn't…", she slurred, stumbling as she turned around. She swayed as she made her way past him, her white shirt revealing not only taunt nipples pushing against the almost-transparent fabric, but also a dark circle and a faint blue glow a bit higher on her sternum.

"Stark…?"

"Not today, though… maybe next year…", she mumbled as she went back into the Penthouse again and turned directly for the bar, followed by a now equally soaked Loki.

J.A.R.V.I.S. tried to talk her out of opening another bottle until Stark muted him and struggled with the cap, turning surprisingly fast to the astonished demigod.

"Here. 's your fault I cannot use my hand. Open up, I'm celebrating an anniversary today", she slurred.

"I do believe you are intoxicated already enough, Stark."

"Nope, Reindeer Games, I'm not. To forget what I wanna forget I'll need another one of these babies. And take your eyes off my boobs, you'll never get anywhere near them."

Loki just watched her struggle with the bottle for a little longer, getting frustrated after a while and putting it back, before self-consciously crossing her free arm over her chest. It perplexed the demigod, Toni was nothing but self-confident and shoving it into everybody's face just who she was and what she could do, her ego big enough to wave off every insult or speculation thrown at her.

"Please… stop looking." She sounded so demure that he forced himself to catch her chocolate-brown, sad gaze.

"I do enjoy the alluring beauty of the feminine body, Stark", he teased. Normally, she was not shy about anything.

She held his gaze.

"Nothing beautiful there, Lokes. Scars and a hole carved into my chest to hold the device keeping shrapnel from one my own weapons out of my heart."

He did not open the bottle that night, and was surprised when she didn't press the matter with him any longer.

He ended up on the couch with her, though, watching some mindless TV series about a yellow sponge living in a pineapple and somehow she fell asleep on him, they both fell asleep, curled around each other, with the demigod subconsciously always minding her injured shoulder.

 _Why do you have shrapnel in your chest, Stark…?_


	4. Then: Becoming more

**Then: Becoming more**

He was awake before her the next morning, thinking of a way to disentangle without waking her or offending her when he heard her voice.

"I kind of had a nickname, four years ago."

Her eyes were still closed, her uninjured arm buried somewhere under his body, his side where she had snuggled against him still wet from the rain last night, as both had not bothered to change their clothes.

"Oh, do tell, you have the funniest and most annoying nicknames for all of us, what have you been called, other than the anatomically incorrect _Man_ of Iron?" Loki deliberately put on a joking tone, their position was awkward enough.

"Merchant of Death."

That was… not a cute nickname, actually. All he managed to say was a tiny "huh?", though.

"I… was big in the Weapons business, back then. Inherited the company from my father for the lack of a better option as my mother never was able to give him the long desired male heir. Took me a while to make the old farts in the business realize that, yes, a woman was able to out-engineer all of them and bomb them into oblivion if she wanted to."

She continued before Loki could say anything.

"My… business partner, the man who was actually running the company because I always felt way more at home in my workshop, tinkering around, was double selling, and tried to off me. I ended up half dead in a cave in Afghanistan after one of my own weapons exploded right next to me, hooked up to a car battery that kept an electromagnet going to keep the shrapnel out of my heart. The terrorists demanded that I built them one of my weapons, and tortured me when I refused."

"I guess you did not build the weapon as you are still alive."

"I built my first suit."

"In a cave." Loki sounded surprised.

"I am a genius, Loki, sometimes too smart for my own good. I have eidetic memory, every time someone tried to measure my IQ they ended up complaining that they needed to invent another test and up the scale. I speak 8 languages fluently and can curse in 17 more. I play 4 musical instruments and do have absolute pitch. I am an expert in programming, engineering, physics, thermonuclear physics, and what else I set my mind on, and I solve mathematical equations other people would run away from screaming in my head for fun."

Loki scooted up a bit on the couch, bringing her up with him.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I came back heavily traumatized from that trip, trusting Obi… my business partner to handle the company until I got my shit together. Didn't make it easy for him, since I shut down the Weapons Department. While he continued to rip me off, I built the M.A.R.K. II suit, only realizing when it was too late that Stane had built his own suit, but his best engineers couldn't achieve what I built from scraps in a cave in Afghanistan."

Her hand covered her sternum now, the faint blue glow he had seen yesterday and he could not help but let his gaze linger there.

"He paralyzed me and took the reactor out of my chest, leaving me to die. Pepper saved my life… well, and DUM-E, that's one of my bots. I killed him – Stane, that is, not DUM-E."

"He deserved it", Loki stated. While he shifted once again to finally settle in a comfortable position, Toni never had removed her head from his chest, dark brown curls shielding most of her face from his view.

"A year later I almost died because my reactor was poisoning me slowly. I had to invent a new element while one of my old friends decided to steal one of my suits and hand it over to the government, something I had tried to avoid, because Iron Man is there to protect me, it's not just another weapon. Of course another weirdo was involved, and it almost got Pepper killed."

"Why are you telling me this, Stark?" the demigod repeated.

"I am damaged, Loki. I have trust issues, Daddy issues, maybe also some Mommy issues, I was tortured and raped in that cave, I am reckless, no team player, and at certain times of the year I get slightly suicidal…"

"So? Most of that also applies for me. Thor already told you every sordid detail about my life", and boy, why could his stupid not-brother not just keep his mouth shut?

"No… no man has been this close to me ever since that cave. I knew how to enjoy myself before, and I tried afterwards… it's just not easy to get laid when every time someone tries to feel you up you end up huddled in a corner, crying hysterically…"

"You are not crying yet."

Toni giggled at that. "You're not trying to grope me, Sweetheart."

"I was raised a gentleman, Lady Antonia. Your consent definitely would be involved in pleasurable activities such as those."

By now she raised her dark brown eyes at him, her cheek still not moving away from his chest.

"You may not get my consent anytime soon, Loki. I like the cuddling, though…"

So they were cuddling even before the sling came off, and it was not only Toni who relished the feeling of simply being held.

Kissing followed somewhere along the way of calling her Toni, however he respected her very wish to never touch her chest.


	5. Then: Red dress

**Then: Red dress**

Her shoulder was still a bit stiff when her shoulder blade had healed and she no longer had to wear the sling.

The next time Pepper approached Toni for a fundraiser she did not refuse but rather dragged Loki into it. He did look so hot in his tux, and she let him know exactly that.

"You look lovely, too, my Dear", was his answer. The floor-length red dress was pretty, yet also looked simple on the front, reaching up to her collar bones, clinging to her curves. It was a bit too simple, though…

When Toni turned to grab her clutch, Loki was stifling a gasp.

Her bare back was facing him, the dress obviously being held by a rather heavy golden chain that connected between her shoulder blades and reached down to mid thighs. She looked fragile yet like a sculpture and oh, now he did understand why she was so mad at him for breaking her shoulder blade.

Her entire attire screamed _Toni Stark, Genius, Billionaire, Philanthropist, Sexiest woman on Midgard…_

"I am revising my previous statement. You look absolutely stunning", he whispered against her neck, startling her as he inhumanly fast closed the distance to her, his hand ghosting over her skin, not daring to touch her because he might forget about having been raised as a gentleman.

To his surprise, she blushed, and oh, it was an adorable sight…


	6. Now: Scuttlebutt travels at light speed

**Now: Scuttlebutt travels at light speed**

"Our guests would most probably wonder why we chose to disappear so early would you be wearing this dress", Loki smiled, pulling her closer.

A chaste kiss got them some gasps and exasperated glances that made Toni frown.

"Okay, everybody here acts as if I popped your cherry. They do know you cannot get pregnant from a kiss, right?"

The demigod snorted. "If popping my cherry means that you deflowered me, do I really have to remind you that I have been married and had children? Plus, I think I showed you in the past year that I know how it works?"

Toni grinned. "Nope, I just wanted to see warrior bitch's face when you confirmed that we were not living platonically next to each other." She raised her glass, smiling sweetly at Sif who chose to storm to the other corner of the room.

"Seriously, what's their problem? Aren't you allowed to touch the person you love? What, sex is only for reproduction? Is that why they tried to give us separate rooms? We are so living on Earth after all of this BS, seriously… oh, and by the way, I caught warrior bitch and some other chick chatting about me, obviously your Mom accidentally mentioned me to be barren, and they don't understand why you're marrying me at all, and thank God it's gonna be over in like 30 years, because no way in hell the old guy's gonna grant me immortality…"

Loki silenced her by kissing her again, not caring about the glances everybody threw him.

"You are babbling, Dear."

"I told them I knocked _you_ up, therefore the rush. Should've seen their faces!"

The demigod did not know if he should laugh or yell at her. He settled on sending her a pained look. "Oh, goodness, do you know what rumors that is going to spike? Now, that I thought the thing with the horse was finally forgotten…"

Toni sent him a sweet smile, a hand softly caressing over his lower belly. "But, Love, that baby will be so precious, I'll love it to pieces, it'll have your looks and my brains and…"

Loki caught Sif staring at them and, playing along, placed his hand on top of Toni's while laughing a silent "God help us all…"

Scooting closer, he whispered into her ear: "I should teleport us to our room. You deserve some spanking for that stunt."

Toni turned slightly green when thinking about teleporting.

"Nothing against the spanking, Lokes, but I'd rather walk to our room… The rainbow bridge and my stomach don't match, and teleporting won't make it any better."

"Therefore the water, hmm?"

"Yup. Can't even get drunk the evening before my wedding. That mead stuff tastes weird, by the way."

"Well, not everybody relishes the burning acid you call alcohol…"

"It's called scotch, not burning acid. And fermented honey does not sound any better."

"I could talk Thor and Volstagg into a drinking combat, if you want to have a hungover Thundergod at our wedding, that is…"

"Hehe, no… If you could talk the band into playing something danceable, though, that would be really nice… we'll just have to imagine your Mom's old curtains are my red dress." She winked at him with one of her mischievous grins that he loved so much, making him smile.

"I will do my very best, Lady Antonia", he answered with a bow that was perfect in form, making her giggle.


	7. Then: No help at all

**Then: No help at all…**

Normally, fundraisers were boring, yet, Toni and Loki were too busy with each other to actually give a damn.

Toni was itching to finally dance again, because that had been something she always enjoyed, and was deeply missing, and thank God Loki knew how to keep his feet in order, because she'd rather have made a fool out of herself dancing alone than let anyone else in the room touch her (well, maybe except for Pepper, but her CEO was busy making heart shaped eyes at Phil Coulson who somewhere along the way had been resurrected, because, seriously, Loki knew how to stab someone without actually killing him).

Every time the pressure of Loki's finger's shifted, it sent tingles down Toni's back. Sometime into their third dance, Loki bowed down to whisper in her ear.

"How long do we actually have to stay here?" His voice was rough, pulling her closer against his body, and oh… Oh! He was hard, and moaned silently under his breath as Toni moved even closer.

"I'm afraid another hour or so, otherwise Pepper will never leave me alone. And I'd rather not turn this into a romp in the restroom, because I definitely will be shy and self-conscious, and that's easier in my bedroom." Her head was resting against his chest now, the muscles in her back moving under his fingers, and…

"You are no help in making me flaccid again, woman!" he quietly cursed.

"Well, try walking around in damp panties, that's also no fun…"

Loki buried his nose in her hair.

"No help at all…"


	8. Then: Why did you ever worry?

**Then: Why did you ever worry?**

In the end they managed one and a half hours more without embarrassing themselves and also managed to behave in the limousine.

Toni grew more silent the closer they came to the Penthouse.

"You don't have to do this, Dear, if you are not comfortable with it. I can wait", Loki stated as they rode the elevator, his fingers itching to touch her soft skin again.

"God, no, I'll explode if I don't have sex with you finally… it's just… it's not pretty, Loki. There are scars, on my breasts and my stomach, and the reactor… just… don't run away screaming…"

His hand found her cheek, pulling her in for a tender kiss.

"I can turn into a blue frost giant, Dear… I did not run from that image, well, not exactly… Your reactor might be a view that is easier on the eyes."

Her expression changed from embarrassed to curious in under a second and Loki actually had to laugh. His little scientist…

"Oh… I definitely wanna see that some time, but now… let's get to the bedroom."

She let him unhook the chain, long, pale fingers slowly caressing against her shoulder blades as he stood behind her, placing a kiss at the base of her neck before moving around her, stepping up in front of her.

His green eyes locked on her chocolate ones as he lowered the red fabric which had shielded the blue glow from the reactor completely. The first thing he saw was a network of scars around the reactor and he softly traced them with his forefinger

"This is from… when the reactor was poisoning me...", Toni whispered, however, as she did not shy away, he continued lowering her dress.

Toni was holding her breath as he unashamedly watched her, his finger straying from the reactor to brush down the soft swell of her breast, tracing each scar that had been left by surgery in a godforsaken cave at the end of the world. The way she acted had made him think she was crippled, but those were two perfect mounds sporting some white and nicely healed scar tissue.

He ran his thumb around her nipple, eyes never unlocking, and she leaned into his touch as he cupped her, marveling the perfect fit.

"Oh, Dear, why did you ever worry? You are so beautiful…"

Toni was tempted to believe him as he captured her lips and maneuvered them towards the bed.

He confusedly stared at the square tin foil pack she produced somewhere along the way, wondering what Midgardian kink that might be. She obviously interpreted his gaze correctly, explaining what she was holding.

"It's a condom, Sweets. I may not be anywhere near functional down there, but I'd rather not end up knocked up after our first time together."

His still confused glance had her review her words, deciding that what he most probably did not understand was _knocked up_.

"It's a contraceptive, so I don't end up pregnant…"

"Oh, by all means, use it! This is too fresh and too good to sire any children yet. I want you for myself, Dear!"

He nearly lost it when she sheathed him with the thin latex, primal instincts taking over as he devoured her mouth once more.

He had her writhing and moaning and begging and orgasming beneath him, following suit, loving the sound of his name on her lips as she came, not quite sure what spilled from his as he climaxed.


	9. Then: Keeping it a secret? Naaah

**Then: Keeping it a secret? Naaah…**

Of course they sucked at keeping it a secret. To be honest, they did not even try to keep it a secret. Neither Toni nor Loki had known before how it felt to be at complete ease with another person around, stealing tiny kisses, brushing fingertips, falling asleep in each other's arms with a feeling of complete and utter trust.

Weirdly enough, they still managed to not be busted for quite some time...

Somehow her living room always ended up as a debriefing room, and she was smirking at the thought of what kind of activity she and Loki had engaged in right where the Captain was sitting in the moment.

She was limping a bit, their latest encounter with Doom leaving her with rather large hematomas on her calf and hip, her business suit covering everything up, though. She was late, Pepper had called twice, already, and Toni actually thought she would prefer the board meeting over Captain America's pedantic analysis of the recent events.

J.A.R.V.I.S. was writing her reports, anyway, and since Loki was as fond of paperwork as she was, the electronic butler had also taken over this task from the demigod. Everybody wondered how Iron Man was so easily distracted and then managed to hand in flawless reports, and they wondered even more about Loki's flawless formatting everything to pdf format. They had a secretary writing down everything Thor ever wanted to report, after he broke five keyboards and did not care about spelling or continuity.

When Steve started the third time about a building almost collapsing on Iron Man, Toni had enough, lifting herself from her couch. "You know what, Cap, J.A.R.V.I.S. will record your sermon as many times as you wanna practice it, but I have a company to run. Ya wanna order in or go out this evening, Lokes?"

She had already turned to Loki when she realized what she just had said, but shrugged it off the same second. Loki had moved in with her after their first night together, his floor in the tower had been used for nothing else but sleeping in the weeks and months before, anyway.

"You promised to introduce me to your weird affection for raw fish, Dear", Loki answered, crossing his hands behind his head and stretching, suddenly looking like he owned the place.

"I know a great Running Sushi place, so we'll go out. I'll be back seven-ish latest…" She leaned down and pecked the demigod's lips, who met her eagerly, before she waved at everyone else in the room, offering them a "Later, bitches."

Loki's smile and an astonished silence followed the sharp clicks of her high heels as she approached the elevator.

"You couldn't find yourself just a regular terrorist to fuck, huh, Stark?"

Barton had muttered that under his breath, loud enough for the demigod to hear.

Toni's hearing was fine despite listening to the excessive noise she called music. Her steps only briefly faltered, shoulders tensed, but she disappeared into the elevator.

Loki sent the archer a loathing look as he lifted himself from the couch.

"This meeting is over. Remove yourself from this floor."

"Who died and made you king?" was the defiant answer from Barton's side, making the demigod throw another searing look.

"J.A.R.V.I.S., if they are not gone in five minutes, make sure that their floors are emptied and their belongings are donated somewhere."

Loki did not actually know where he should go after these words, but he still strode towards the bedroom purposefully as J.A.R.V.I.S. answered " _It will be my pleasure, Master Loki_ ", in the most seething tone he had ever heard from the AI, and the demigod actually smiled a little at its protectiveness towards its creator.

When he had reached the bedroom he sat down on his side of the bed, suddenly wondering about the fact that he had a side of the bed. He also had his space in the walk in closet; sure, Toni had more clothes and definitely more shoes, but still… How come that after decades, hell, centuries in Asgard, it only took a few months on Midgard and to love… Love? To love that incredible mortal to make him feel at home?

"Are they already gone, J.A.R.V.I.S.?"

" _They are just entering the elevator. Miss Romanoff has reminded Mr. Barton of what happened to Madame in Afghanistan. Do you want me to call Madame?_ "

Yes. Yes, he actually wanted to. She picked up almost immediately.

"Lokes? Please tell me my tower is still intact! I don't care about corpses on the pavement in front of it, though, I'm definitely pro-defenestration today. Might be a bit hard to explain, but still…" The demigod could hear the sounds of a car in the background, and it did not sound like the limousine, but like she had decided to take one of her convertibles to the road, despite it being mid-November.

"It is heart-warming how much you care for your team-mates, Dear. J.A.R.V.I.S. and me threatened to donate all their belongings if they would not leave."

She chuckled, and he was delighted to hear that sound.

"Ya still wanna go to that Sushi place?"

"I am seriously curious how you mortals developed such a weird sense of culinary savor."

"You told me you ate roasted can't-spell-the-name on one of your adventures with Thor, how's that better and less weird than raw fish?"

Loki laughed at that. She sounded fine.

"Hey, Lokes?"

"Yes, Dear?"

"I'm fine. Thanks for calling, though. Gotta go and work now."

"You sleep through most of your board meetings."

"That's because you refuse sexting me."

"I do not have the slightest clue what that is."

"Yeah, I have to show you how to work a cellphone, we don't wanna scar J.A.R.V.I.S. for life…"

" _I would very much appreciate that, Madame."_


	10. Then: Exodus

**Then: Exodus**

They did not realize immediately that something was out of place as they arrived home from their date at the Running Sushi restaurant. Loki definitely was a fan of raw Tuna now. Toni still had a tiny bit of mascara underneath her left eye from crying with laughter at his encounter with Wasabi.

Loki had his arm around Toni's shoulders, one hand casually in the front pocket of his pants, and Toni had one of her hands down the back pockets of his jeans while holding an ice cream cone in her other hand despite it being mid-November, sticking it into Loki's face to taste it when they exited the elevator.

"Hey, J, Mommy's home, how about some music? Or we could watch a movie, hmm… I feel like _Burlesque_ today. J.A.R.V.I.S., bring it on."

The electronic butler normally always answered with an _As you wish, Madame_ or _It is your ears that you are destroying_. Now, there was only silence that greeted them.

"J.A.R.V.I.S.?"

Only now she looked up and saw the bunch of people who had gathered in her living room, sitting on her couch as if they belonged there.

"J.A.R.V.I.S.!"

Nick Fury was patting some device, grinning at them.

Toni just growled a "What the fuck?!" before she disentangled herself from the demigod who ended up holding the ice cream cone, his eyes following the engineer as she marched into the kitchen, dragging out a tablet from some drawer and started hacking away on it.

Everybody in the room was watching her and she did not even recognize it.

She ignored Fury's "We need to talk, Stark."

"J, Buddy, are you there?!"

" _I am, Madame… I managed to initiate_ Protocol Lockdown _before Director Fury made me go offline…"_

"You did great, Buddy." Dark brown eyes snapped up, finally addressing Fury and the other Avengers (sans Thor… he preferred Asgard or New Mexico… well, definitely New Mexico over New York). Steve, Clint and Natasha sat there, arms crossed, partaking in whatever intervention S.H.I.E.L.D.'s director was just holding. Bruce looked like he had been roped into this and would rather be somewhere else. Coulson was not to be seen – however, he had known about it as soon as Pepper had, so… that man obviously knew how to keep a secret.

"Tell me why I should not order J.A.R.V.I.S. to ready all the goddamn weapons I have in this Penthouse and aim them at you?"

"Well, how about wanting to discuss your glorious idea to mess around with the guy who almost destroyed this city half a year ago?" Fury looked smug and pissed at the same time, but then, when didn't he look pissed.

Toni looked absolutely enraged, and Loki was wondering briefly if it was weird that the sight stimulated arousal within him… next to all sorts of protective and sympathy-rage feelings that welled up.

"You break into my Penthouse, you harm one of my children, and that just because you don't like my boyfriend who's saved your asses more than once in the past months, just for your record?" She had been incredulous at first, now, however, rage had taken over rather instantly, and Loki briefly thought she would have J.A.R.V.I.S. arm the weapons as she had mentioned before.

"J.A.R.V.I.S., engage _Protocol Exodus_. Ready one of the jets, the Gulfstream, I'm outta here as soon as possible. Pack up DUM-E and U and whatever S.H.I.E.L.D. should not get into their greedy hands. Inform Pepper, heck, you know better what to do than I do."

"Stark? What are you doing?" Steve was aiming his Puppy dog eyes at him and was greeted by a hard look.

"How does it look like, Captain Oblivious? I've had enough. This was just the last straw. None of you respects my privacy, neither do you respect Loki's. You attack J.A.R.V.I.S. and don't care that he is more or less a sentient being, and if he had not locked down my lab, tons of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents would be snooping around there already…"

"We just think it is not a good idea if you…"

"I don't give a flying fuck about what you think!" she exclaimed, interrupting the soldier. "I definitely won't take relationship counsel from a 90 year old virgin. Get yourself raped by 30 terrorists in a row and end up with a ruptured ovary and almost bleeding to death because of an ectopic pregnancy afterwards, then I might consider anything you have to say about me going for the one person whose touch I cannot only tolerate, but am craving it. And just so you know it: The only person about whose opinion I give a flying fuck next to Loki knows since the beginning, and Pepper already gave him the shovel talk."

Okay, well, it had not really been a shovel talk, rather a _take good care of her_ talk, but they did not need to know that.

Steve was gaping at her like a fish, opening his mouth to say something, but no words would come out. Toni had turned to Fury now, her brown eyes glowing with anger, side glancing at Natasha and Clint.

"And you, Mr. _Wants that suits but not the creator_ , and your two superspies who disapprove everything I do. You wanna disapprove something? J.A.R.V.I.S., S.H.I.E.L.D. will be charged rent from now on for the offices they use in the tower. Stop the funding. Stop the manufacturing of all the ameliorations I came up with, they will complain about what they _cannot_ do all the time anyway… well, except for Bruce's pants, finish them."

" _As you wish, Madame."_

"Toni…" Steve once more tried reasoning.

"If anyone ever so mentions my relationship with Loki, all of you will be paying rent for your floors, too. If ya wanna stay I'd stay silent, this is Manhattan were speaking about."

With that she turned around to Loki, who was still standing on the same spot as he had been when she had rushed to rescue J.A.R.V.I.S. Her ice was by now dripping down his fingers, but he only realized that now. Her face was flushed and he could tell that she felt too warm still wearing the winter jacket she needed to withstand the cold weather outside.

"Have you ever been to Malibu, Lokes? Or do you wanna stay here with the five Stooges? You wouldn't like it, though…"

"Why should I want to stay here? I will be bored beyond belief. What is this Malibu, and why would I not like living here?"

"Because living here will get definitely less comfortable. J.A.R.V.I.S., once you organized everything, leave F.R.I.D.A.Y. in charge of the tower and migrate yourself and everything important to my private servers, you know which I mean", she turned towards the Avengers again.

"This means for you: No more cooking or getting breakfast unless you do it yourself. No lights will turn on or off, you have to actually push the button of the elevator or change the TV program by hand, wash your own clothes, no more grocery shopping off my credit card, and yes, I did notice, and nope, normally I don't care that you spend my money. You've crossed a line, though. I am not a child, I have not been since I was shipped off to the first boarding school. Yet everybody seems to think they know better how to live my life than I do. F.R.I.D.A.Y. is J.A.R.V.I.S.'s backup to run elevators and the basic stuff in the tower. The labs will be working fine, Bruce. And now remove yourself from my Penthouse."

There were voices behind her, yet she did not care. The tower never really had felt like home, and now it didn't even more. Malibu. Malibu had been where she had fled to, as far away as possible from her late parents. Malibu was…

Her eyes searched Loki's.

"Malibu is home. You wanna join me?"

"I would love to, Dear. I have one last question, though."

"Shoot."

"What is _Protocol Exodus?"_

Just then the first Iron Man suit was assembled on the ramp and taking off, followed suit by another one… and another one… and…

"J.A.R.V.I.S. is riding my babies home, because I definitely won't leave any of my stuff here."


	11. Now: To our choice

**Now: To our choice…**

"Why did we say yes to also getting married on Asgard?" Tony huffed as the eyes of every person in the large hall followed her and Loki waltzing the dancefloor… so, dancing was also forbidden in Never-Never-land? Did she have to go _Footloose_ on all of them? Huh, that actually might be fun…

"If I remember correctly, _you_ said yes to the entire ordeal. Even though we did not really have another choice after Thor told on us…what has you grinning so mischievously, Love?" Loki could not say that he liked the scrutinizing, either. It was easy for him to shrug it off, though. They would be living on Midgard, this entire charade was for his mother, who had not been pleased that he had chosen a mortal spouse, but apparently was dead-set on making the best of it.

"Just remembered a movie that we have to watch… and Thor will pay for ratting us out. I'm so gonna buy the loudest toys I can find for his and Jane's offspring. Aunt Toni will teach baby boy Odinson how to play the drums, and a trumpet, and the electric guitar, because the kid definitely needs to know how to play _Thunderstruck…_ oh, and I'll buy him the best and loudest sound system known to mankind… and every AC/DC album… and… _"_

Loki laughed at that. Thor had been quite worked up when he found out that he had knocked up _his_ mortal. The Trickster did not want to know how the conversation with Frigga and Odin had ended, after all they were about as fond of the astrophysicist as they were of Toni. Apparently, his parents had pushed the wrong buttons, though, because Thor had threatened to leave Asgard and marry _his_ mortal just as Loki was going to.

Thank you very much for the impromptu travel on the rainbow bridge then without any warning. Thank god they had just been cuddled up watching a movie, and had not been engaged in other activities. Toni had been sick for two days since she was not used to that kind of transportation, and they somehow ended up promising to also have a ceremony on Asgard to smooth the waters.

"Is this your gut-feeling again, telling you it's a boy?"

"Hey, I was right the last time, wasn't I?"

* * *

A little later, Toni sat down next to Jane, who was looked at as if she was a rare animal in a Zoo just as much as Toni was.

Clicking her glass to the other woman's beverage, she smiled. "To our choice in men. May it improve."

Jane smiled. "As if you would trade Loki for anything in the nine realms."

"Nope, now that he's finally potty-trained, I guess I'm gonna keep him. Would you trade Thor?"

"No. But I could live without the in-laws… They claim to stand above everything, and being gods here, and saving all realms there… and then they have these antediluvian opinions. Frigga asked me if I would take good care of Thor's armor. I told her that I'm an astrophysicist and not his maid. I though her head was going to explode."

"Same here when I asked why they were taking my stuff to a separate wing of the palace. Mommy dearest looked at me as if I defiled her baby boy… by the way, did Thor finally stop hyperventilating?"

Jane laughed loudly at that. "He is thrilled to bits and scared senseless at the same time… Oh, and I heard congratulations are in order concerning you and Loki… How does this even work, you knocking him up? Last time I checked our biology, human females did not transmit any genetic material to sire offspring."

Toni grinned as well. "Yah, more advanced than us stupid mortals my ass, they should invest in schools and sex-ed. Though, to be honest, Loki indeed gave birth to that eight legged horse."

Jane threw her a small side glance as Toni watched _her_ demigod chat with his brother. Thank whatever deity that those two had found their way back together. Both women would need their backup against their in-laws.


	12. Then: I think I might

**Then: I think I might…**

The ride towards the airport as well as the flight across the country were rather uneventful. Toni was awfully silent in the car, and Loki was still preoccupied with what she had said to Steve.

In the plane she fell asleep on him as soon as they had taken off, his fingers caressing through that wild mane of brunette hair. He could only guess how helpless she must have felt, being at the mercy of these terrorists in that cave.

She was the bravest person he knew, she had stood up for him, on more than one occasion, and yet it seemed that she had to stand up for herself all the time, before she was taken hostage, but also afterwards, alone. That scene in the tower just confirmed this once more. He despised those men for what they had done to her, yet, he knew that without these experiences she would not have turned into the woman she was now.

He was surprised by his primal instincts telling him to keep her safe as Fury and the Avengers were confronting her about her bad taste in men.

 _The one person whose touch I cannot only tolerate, but am craving it._

It took a rather huge effort from Loki's side not to launch himself at the people he had been fighting side by side for the last months. Had he ever felt like this? He had been married, he had sired children, and despite his unconditional affection for his offspring he could tolerate them being exiled and hidden to keep them save from Odin's claws.

The thought of being separated from Toni made him feel sick. Wrapping himself around her his one hand crept under her shirt, coming to rest on her warm skin right beneath her bra, while his other arm served as her pillow, hand tangled in her brunette waves.

" _I think I might love you, Dear_ ",he whispered against her hair, weirdly glad that she did not move, but just continued breathing steadily.

He was dozing off when he heard her voice telling him " _I think I might love you, too…"_

His heart skipped a beat and somehow he could not stop himself from grinning stupidly.


	13. Then: Nobody makes Pepper cry!

**Then: Nobody makes Pepper cry!**

The house at the beach was stunning and Loki was surprised when he learned that Toni had planned it. It had been only two weeks that they had been here, a mere two weeks after Toni had turned her back on the Avengers, and with her Loki. A mere two weeks and he was feeling at home in this stunning house, at this stunning place, and having the ocean close did also not hurt.

"Is there anything you cannot do?" he asked, flipping the French toast in the pan, roasting it to the perfect shade of gold while a rather impatient Toni was sitting on the counter, waiting for her midnight snack.

"I couldn't cook to save my life", she said with a smile, her feet dangling as she leaned in and stole a kiss. "Can life be any more perfect? I'm afraid I will wake up, and that yummy guy in boxers making me food in the middle of the night is gone…"

Loki smiled and took her food out of the pan. Perfect? She was working overtime because S.H.I.E.L.D. had quadrupled its efforts to get hold of her technology. So Toni had quadrupled her efforts in shielding them and J.A.R.V.I.S., resorting to flat out threatening Fury as they continuously tried hacking the artificial intelligence.

"You will stop your assaults immediately, or Skynet will look like a Tamagotchi compared to what I will render J.A.R.V.I.S. able to do. You tend to forget that S.H.I.E.L.D.'s tech was manufactured by me. Think about that."

Her Skynet comment had resulted in a Terminator movie marathon, leaving Loki utterly astonished at the creativity mortals had developed. On Asgard you only found non-fiction books, and the tales that were told were about war and victories. Nobody ever thought about manufacturing anything for the mere purpose of entertainment.

Fury did not take her threats too serious, until she made one helicarrier go down in a controlled crash. There were no casualties, but at least the assaults stopped. For now. They both chose to relish the short-lived peace.

Abandoning the French toast on a plate to let it cool down a bit, Loki moved between Toni's legs, his fingers tracing the upper rim of the reactor that was visible beneath the tank top she was wearing.

"Will you also work through that night, Toni?"

A small smile crept around the corners of her mouth.

"Nope. The test runs have been successful. J.A.R.V.I.S. has a free will now, and by all means, I gave him all the knowledge I could do defend himself against S.H.I.E.L.D.'s assaults from now on. He has access to all my satellites and what others I managed to hack, he's got access to the internet. Just don't go Skynet on us, will you J?"

" _I have no intention to do…"_ J.A.R.V.I.S. interrupted himself. " _Madam, I receive a distress call from Miss Potts. Her car is just entering the perimeter of the mansion, three cars are following her. I am deploying M.A.R.K. VI and M.A.R.K. VII, there is gunfire from the other cars. Miss Potts is heading for the secret garage, please meet her there._

Indeed they could see both suits disappearing into the darkness and were shocked as explosions lit the night only seconds later.

"Fuck… that was close!" Jumping off the counter, Toni grabbed Loki's hand, dragging him along with her, down those stairs into her sacred workshop. He had never been there in New York, it was her sanctuary, after all, and he had not dared following her yet here. She punched in a key code in the panel next to the glass doors just as a red spots car with shredded convertible soft top skidded to a halt, bumping into one of the cars Toni kept down here that still needed tinkering.

Pepper jumped out, and considering that she still had looked neat and clean after that mess on the race track in Monaco, she looked disheveled and scared to death right now as she sprinted to the other side of the car, ripping the door open.

Toni let out a small cry, her hands covering her mouth instantly at the sight of a shot Phil Coulson, who was trying not to lean too much on Pepper. Loki jumped into action, leading the agent to a worn old leather couch in a corner, as Toni rushed to her best friend.

Pepper was crying. Nobody made Pepper cry.

"They tried to kill him, Toni…"

"Who?" Her arms went around the redhead without thinking, after all, Pepper was one of the few persons whose touch she could stand.

"Fury was there… Phil wanted to quit, to leave S.H.I.E.L.D., because…" Pepper trailed off, watching how Loki helped Coulson take of his bloody jacket, revealing an angry red spot on the Agent's right shoulder. Gentle, pale fingers peeled off the soaked fabric, the demigod quietly talking to the other man.

Pepper's head turned back to the crook of Toni's head, whispering "I am pregnant, Toni. He wanted to leave, but they would not let him. They came with three cars, with guns, for one man who would have signed every nondisclosure agreement, who was always loyal to them."

The other woman was sobbing and shaking violently by now, her legs giving way, so Toni lowered both of them to the floor, one incoherent thought popping up in her mind that it was quite dirty down here.

"J.A.R.V.I.S., how's the situation out there?"

" _I took out all three cars and disarmed the men. Director Fury was not among them. What do you want me to do with them?"_

"I don't know… what do you want to do with them?" Toni was caressing Pepper's back as she addressed her AI.

" _I would rather not answer that question, it would be utterly Skynet. I suggest letting them go and find a way to bring S.H.I.E.L.D. down."_

It took J.A.R.V.I.S. longer than he had thought to get a hang on that, but when he figured out that H.Y.D.R.A. had been undermining S.H.I.E.L.D. right from the beginning, it was only a matter of time.

It was glorious when he finally ended them (with a little help of Captain America, but who's counting?).


	14. Then: So tired

**Then: So tired…**

If somebody would have told Phil Coulson that only a few weeks after this incident, only a few days away from Christmas, he would sit in Toni Stark's kitchen, watching the man who had almost killed him prepare a midnight snack for his personal pain in the ass as she was tinkering away on her 42nd suit in a row, he would have called said person an idiot.

S.H.I.E.L.D. was gone, they were supposed to be safe again, yet, he not only understood but also supported Pepper's wish to stay close to her friend who was fiercely protective of her CEO, and actually had tried to talk Pepper out of going back to work the day after that incident, because _screw you, S.H.I.E.L.D.!_ It had not worked, but still, he appreciated it.

They had moved into a guest suite of the Malibu mansion, and while he had only kept Loki's and Stark's relationship a secret because Pepper had asked him to, after all, he did NOT like the engineer, and of course the stabbing demigod, he slowly realized that they all had been biased by what happened during the battle of New York, even after they knew that the demigod had not been acting after his free will… and had somehow managed to fuck up the entire invasion to eventually save the city nonetheless.

Stark had been the only one to get the bigger picture, and only now he understood why she had been fighting so fiercely to save the other man. He would do anything to keep Pepper and their child safe. Toni might not have had finding her soul mate in her mind when doing the right thing, but eventually she had.

"Isn't it driving you crazy, having to remind her to eat and to sleep all the time?" the former agent asked, turning towards the redhead next to him who was wolfing down the first batch of scrambled eggs the demigod had produced.

Loki smiled.

"Well, I could think of more pleasurable things to do at this hour of the night, but since Toni obviously has set her mind on building an Iron legion to keep the people she holds dear safe, who am I to stop her?"

What he could live without, though, was Toni covering up everything of herself again. He had gotten used to the revealing tanktops and the glow of her reactor in the few days she felt comfortable enough to not hide around him, and then…

"Uhhh… something smells delicious, Lokes, you are a God!" Their conversation topic sauntered into the kitchen, by now so used to getting her midnight snacks that her stomach had been conditioned on growling at the right time.

"Indeed, I am, my Love", the demigod smiled as she wrapped herself around him, arms around his waist, head against his chest, blowing onto the food on the fork he offered her to cool it down before taking the first bite.

"But Pepper got served first", Toni pouted, snatching the fork from his hand, while Loki's breath briefly hitched at the realization that this time he had not used his usual pet name for her.

"Well, food cravings require immediate reaction", the God replied, receiving soft smiles from both Pepper and Phil. Toni mouthed a "Hmmm" around her next bite. "Can I have ketchup with this?"

Loki tried to look offended. "Ketchup? Why do you have to drown everything in ketchup? I swear, one day you will eat French Toast with ketchup."

"So _my_ food cravings do not require reaction?" Toni pouted on.

He bowed down slightly, having forgotten their company for a second as he kissed her temple. "Will you also work this entire night?"

"I'm afraid that if I say no another catastrophe will happen." Her head still leaned against his chest. "I'm so tired, Lokes…"

And suddenly she had 3 people worrying about her, she was so tired, she wanted to curl herself into her bed, with Loki spooning her, his hand under her shirt, his arm as her pillow.

"Take a break, my Love. You gave your son what he needs to pursue your goal, J.A.R.V.I.S. can manage a day or two without you, don't you think?"

She agreed, though Loki did not sleep at all that night. Her head rested against his chest, her arm flung over his upper stomach, one leg thrown over his legs.

He was cradling her hand on his stomach in his, hugging her tight to him with his other arm.


	15. Then: Hush!

**Then: Hush!**

The World Security Council, or what was left of it had asked Phil (yes, his name was Phil, and not Agent, thank you very much, a pregnant Pepper could be rather frightening…) of all people to build up S.H.I.E.L.D. again.

He wanted to tell them to fuck off, but was too polite for that, telling them he needed to think about it, especially after all his own company had done to him, after all Fury had not been part of H.Y.D.R.A. and still tried to off him.

Then he ran into Tony and after she was done talking him into accepting, he briefly wondered who exactly was the Silvertongue in this household. Coulson just was putting down their last suitcase in front of the entrance door, they had decided it was time to move out again, and threw an amused look at the engineer who had her head against Pepper's still flat stomach, talking to the baby.

Both Pepper and Loki were laughing at the nonsense she was babbling. Yeah, Silvertongue, huh? Adjusting the sling that held his injured arm, he coughed, getting their attention.

"You really don't want me to pimp your flat? I can have J.A.R.V.I.S. installed there in a week, maybe five days if I skip sleeping a bit. Oh, and just so you know it, no one can talk me out of setting up a ridiculously big trust fund for our little princess in there." Toni pointed at Pepper's belly before getting up and sliding next to Loki, the three of them sauntering over to Coulson.

"Toni, you don't…"

"Peps, she's probably the closest I will come to having kids, so let me spoil my niece, will you?"

Pepper gave her friend an awkward hug as Loki was practically glued to her side.

"Kids are expensive, I'm not saying no to a trust fund. But you don't know if it's a girl, Toni, stop calling the baby a she, will you?"

"Wanna bet?" Toni had never been so sure about something as she grinned widely at Pepper and Coulson, who rolled their eyes in unison. Some things never changed.

After the cab had taken both back to the city, Toni and Loki spent the rest of the afternoon cuddled against each other in a corner of the couch, Toni eventually falling asleep on his lap, head in the crook of his neck. The TV was showing some absolutely weird nonsense now and normally he would have asked J.A.R.V.I.S. to change the channel, but he rather resorted to watching her sleep.

Had there ever been anyone who felt so safe around him to let their guard completely down?

First he did not realize that it turned dark outside, rain starting to fall. He jumped at the first sound of thunder, his eyes searching the panorama windows.

Wonderful. Somebody had told his not-brother where they were. And obviously somebody had told him a story that made the Thunderer forget about the fact that there were phones.

"J.A.R.V.I.S.?"

" _Yes, Master Loki?"_ J.A.R.V.I.S. answered as quietly as Loki had addressed him.

"Please send out one of the suits and meet Thor halfway. Tell him we want to talk, there is no need to break down doors or shatter glass."

" _And there I thought I could finally test drive the M.A.R.K. XLII…"_

Loki chuckled at the joke, wrapping himself tighter around a sleeping Toni and kissing her hairline.

"You still can do that if Thor does not want to listen to you."

Surprisingly enough, Thor was listening. And he was utterly astonished to find his brother and the engineer on the couch, cuddling, instead of laughing madly, bowed over a map, planning their complot to reach world domination.

"Brother…!"

Loki hushed him immediately. "Toni has not slept for more than 2 or 3 hours at once for the past weeks. Do not wake her, please."


	16. Now: Henpecked!

**Now: Henpecked?!**

Loki smiled when he saw that both Jane and Toni had put on their science faces, eventually, dulling out the rest of the people in the room, discussing whatever had spiked their interest. Both women had had a field day in annoying Heimdall about telling them how the Bifrost worked. The bad thing was that the other god did not really know, and never had cared how it worked – as long as it worked.

He had looked utterly relieved when Loki had suggested searching for the construction plans in the library – after a little rest, because Toni had looked a bit green. Thor was in full-protective mode, and even though Jane apparently did not have problems travelling with the Bifrost, she was ordered to rest, too.

"Look at them. I will never fully understand how Jane's mind does work." Thor stepped up next to the Trickster, smiling just as softly when he looked at both women.

"Please, Toni is thinking on at least six different layers at the same time, and sometimes even she confuses them."

"You always have been doing the same, brother. You always had an additional plan in case something went wrong." Thor handed him a jug with mead, and Loki hummed.

"Well, you and the others were always quite reckless, and did not think ahead, so I had to have backup plans. She's playing in another league, though. Her backup plans have backup plans that have backup plans. She brought two Iron Man suits with her, just in case. And a portable version of J.A.R.V.I.S…"

Though, that she had done most probably because she wanted the AI to be there at their wedding. If it was possible she would have brought DUM-E and U, too.

"Would you change a single thing about her?" Thor smiled as Jane snatched a saltcellar and Toni absentmindedly recruited the jug of the man next to her to serve as whatever they were just discussing and building on the table.

"No. She is the most unpredictable person I ever met, and still I never have been as patient with anyone as when being with her. Making her less paranoid would make her less… her. I… don't want to live just for one second without her."

"Don't you think it is weird that both of us found these strong-willed science women who are so absolutely not what our mother has envisioned as spouses for us?"

Loki laughed. "I see, you also had this conversation with Mother. She was ultimately flustered when she found out that I was cooking for Toni. I chose not to tell her that I became more or less her personal assistant over the last year."

The Thundergod ran a hand over his face. "From what I heard from Lady Pepper this is quite some task… Father was not amused when I was talking about the merits of a vacuum cleaner, that is, when he figured out that Jane makes me clean up every mug I destroy… Is it only me, or does life on Asgard seem so antiquated when compared to what we have found on Midgard?"

"Honestly? After a year with electricity and hot water and central heating and human creativity, it is hard to imagine living here again. I don't know how I even survived without a smartphone, or television, to be honest."

"Or poptarts. Or Pixar movies."

Loki laughed at that. "That Wall-E movie has made a lasting impression, huh?"

Thor smiled softly at the other demigod. "I will never look at a cockroach or Toni's creations the same way again…"

The Trickster took a big gulp out of his mug and then elbowed Thor.

"Toni thinks it will be a boy. Congratulations, brother."


	17. Then: Sometimes

**Then: Sometimes…**

Toni woke halfway through Loki's talk with the Thunder God, who, for once, patiently had listened to the other demigod who never let go of the woman in his arms.

"Director Fury said it is your fault that S.H.I.E.L.D. was brought down, and I assumed you had changed sides again, and Lady Antonia had joined you." The blonde god felt stupid. He had not been around when Loki and Toni had become a serious item and not just friends.

He had seen his brother's fondness of the mortal, though, when she was still injured and not partaking in their missions, and he had realized pretty soon that it was mutual. After all, Toni was fussing over every injury Loki acquired during their battles. And he let her.

"It was our doing, Point break" Toni mumbled groggily against Loki's shoulder. "The guys the Captain has been fighting more than 70 years ago had totally undermined S.H.I.E.L.D. How long have I been out, Lokes?"

"Four hours. Are you hungry?"

Toni shook her head no and slid off the demigod's lap, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands.

"Fury really hates me. What did I ever do to him?"

"I think not handing over your suits was enough. And now Philipp has his job."

Toni sighed heavily.

"Great. So I once again have a bullseye on my forehead. For trying to keep my tech out of the wrong hands while they were just distributing it to everyone able to put on a black suit."

"Nobody will harm you, my Love. Not if I have any say in that", Loki growled and Thor threw him an astonished side glance. He had come here with the intention of attacking both of them, and instead of fighting him, the Trickster had sent the disembodied voice to negotiate, and was calling his shield-bro… err, sister _my Love_.

Toni's laugh startled him.

"Oh, my knight in shining armor. Will you also come to the board meeting with me tomorrow? Pep's gonna announce Spawn's arrival in 5 months, and that they'll have to live with me as surrogate CEO when she's on maternity leave. There's gonna be a few more people who want to kill me. Oh, and maybe I won't be bored beyond belief this time, bring your cell phone…"

At that, Loki sighed, rolled his eyes, and ran a hand over his face.

Sometimes, he could understand the people wanting to strangle Stark.

Still he smiled when she invited Thor to stay, asked J.A.R.V.I.S. to order enough food to feed an army and was debating with herself which movie they should watch.

He did not really feel like spending time with his not-brother, but also would have been incredibly impolite if he had contradicted.

Both Thor and Loki did not really get in the beginning what was so special about this tiny square box with eyes and wheels… well, until Wall-E accidentally stepped on the cockroach, and both were exclaiming a "nooo!" simultaneously with the tiny robot's shriek.

Toni just sat on the couch, munching on her pizza and watched both of them watch the movie.

Loki was displaying a mean grin when E.V.E. unpacked the big guns, while Thor was feeling sorry for Wall-E. He liked the rampaging massage-bot, though.

Both found M-O cute, and both loathed A.U.T.O., and both of them were hanging at the edges of their seats until that stupid plant was finally in the holo-detector.

Not to forget the discussion how Wall-E retained his personality despite the new parts. Interestingly, that one was neither started, nor interrupted by Toni who actually would have sided with Loki, saying that exchanging the hardware also would have deleted the personality.

Thor was of a different opinion, stating the little robot had kind of a soul (well, he said it more poetically and definitely more shakespearian, but that was the bottom line).

It was nice to see them discussing, and not bashing their heads, for once.

"Sometimes, Love, you have the best ideas", Loki had whispered that night, closing his arms around her and kissing her temple.

Toni just smiled.

"Wait until I show you _Finding Nemo_ …"


	18. Then: Thermite and Ice

**Then: Thermite and ice**

They did not even make it to the board meeting.

Both Loki and Thor had accompanied Toni, Loki, because he indeed was playing the bodyguard, no matter how much she had complained before leaving the mansion. And maybe also a little because she would leave her head in the workshop if he did not remind her of taking it with her.

Thor was curious to see the headquarters of Stark Industries.

They met Pepper as she just showed a man out, smiling nicely but also apologetically.

Toni briefly hugged her friend, slightly annoyed by the guy who obviously did not get the message that Pepper's accompanying him out of the building meant that he was to saunter off and live with the rejection.

"Ya ready for the meeting? I hope you had them make some strong coffee, you know my attention span is crap when I'm tired."

Loki, and curiously enough, the other man snorted, having Toni turn her attention (span momentarily prolonged since, well, someone had snorted and she did not know why) to him.

He did not look friendly. Unfortunately, he had his back to Thor and Loki.

Actually, Aldridge Killian was boiling on the inside, in the truest sense of the word. Sure, he never actually thought Stark Industries would be interested in _Extremis_ , but contacting them was part of the plan to get rid of the genius who might go against his plans.

He had thought that he had lived down the sting of rejection from decades ago, she had been drunk, maybe she did not even remember him, after all, she had disappeared with her bodyguard and this biologist… hell, he himself maybe would have forgotten whatever person was on top of this roof, if he was to bed Toni Stark.

Then the engineer narrowed her eyes at him. "You're the guy with the think tank, aren't you? Anything useful came out of that yet?"

Next to the marvelous thing about _Extremis_ healing all his physical handicaps, the downside was that it made him extremely short-tempered.

Thor saw the orange glow of Killian's hands as he reached out for Stark before Loki who was still busy rolling his eyes about Toni's insensitivity, and screamed in pain as his hands burned against the other man's skin when he tried to stop him.

Toni ducked under Killian's arm as he reached again for her, going for Pepper, as Loki pried off Thor's hands from the other man, the momentum of being free pushing Killian forward, being able to finally grab the engineer's shoulder.

Toni yelped in pain as she pushed Pepper towards the entrance. Her legs gave way and she fell to her knees, for the moment out of Killian's reach. She dared not to turn around, did not want to see what was coming, until she heard Loki roar.

Terrified that Killian might hurt him she managed to drag out her cell phone, pushing the speed dial for J.A.R.V.I.S., croaking out a strangled "J… need a suit!", before turning to watch.

Killian was spitting fire.

Loki had one hand around the other man's throat and had lifted him off his feet.

Oh, and he had turned blue, and Killian was enclosed slowly but steadily in an ice block. The spitting fire stopped as the human ran out of breath in Loki's unforgiving grip. Frost giants rocked! If the burning pain in her back was not making her sick as hell, she would have cheered on him.

Then she remembered what happened when you put thermite in an ice block and started to yell at Thor and Pepper to go to the entrance hall. The god did not ask but ushered the strawberry blonde inside, while Toni tried to get Loki's attention.

He jumped at her voice.

"Lokes, you need to let go off him! Help me, we need to get inside!"

"I have everything under control, Dear." The orange glow was dying down already, it was only a matter of time. He turned, wanting to see her reaction to his deep blue skin and the blood red eyes, but all he saw was the burnt flesh on her back and shoulder, a pained expression in her face. Tears were running down her cheeks.

"Please, let go, he's gonna explode… help me go inside…"

His hand left the other man's throat instantly, shifting back to his Æsir form as fast as he would to not hurt Toni even more with frostbite. She obviously had had in mind that he'd support her while walking into the entrance hall, but he just lifted her up bridal style, flinching at the painful hiss when he got too close to the injury and hurried to meet Pepper and Thor.

Toni threw a look over the Demigod's shoulder. She had been right… orange started to glow, confined in the ice block, the fire looking for gaps, the ice going to steam instantly, pressure increasing, the energy being enough to split the water molecules… it was just a matter of time until enough hydrogen was produced…

Loki had just closed the door behind him when the first fountain of fire left the ice block, then a second fountain shot up, and then, as Toni had predicted, the block exploded.

Everybody in the entrance hall stared wide eyed at what was left of Aldridge Killian – which was not much more than his feet – and Loki and Pepper sighed heavily. This man would have been so much trouble.

Then the demigod realized that Toni had fainted in his arms.


	19. Then: You must not hurt him!

**Then: You must not hurt him!**

She was lying on her belly and the reactor did not make her uncomfortable… the reason for that, however, might have been the searing pain in her back that dulled everything else.

Toni let out a strangled cry as she woke, trying to lift herself, to get away, but strong hands were pushing her down. Anger welled up in her, and _something_ was begging to be let out, but _his_ voice made it to her conscience.

"You morons, didn't you do anything against the pain?!"

Cool fingers found her hand, a face appearing in her unfocused vision. "Toni?"

 _Something_ was still begging her to let it go, to fight whoever was hurting her.

 _You must not hurt him…_

"Lo… hurts…", she managed to croak, trying to focus.

 _Please, don't hurt him…_

"Don't worry, my Love, it will be better soon."

His hand appeared in her vision, tinted green under the cloud of magic and one incoherent thought in her mind was that she had never asked him about it. She almost laughed about herself. Miss Supercurious about everything unnatural had not asked her lover… boyfriend... significant other?… about his Houdini skills.

 _Something_ still wanted out.

Her eyes closed as the burning sensation in her back eased down and Loki had to lean in close to understand her murmured chant.

"Please. Please don't…"

The Trickster almost growled. All it needed to convince Thor to take him to Asgard was a pleading side glance. He did not have to beg, and he had been absolutely willing to. The Thunderer had called Heimdall (no clue who repaired their rainbow-bridge that fast, but it's obviously working again), his own hands torched to black and very painful appendages.

Thor had simply ordered the healers to take care of Toni, pulling the _I'm the crown prince_ card, before sitting down and letting them take care of him.

"Please, don't", Toni whispered again and Loki fell to his knees next to her, his hand never leaving its task to make the pain bearable. The healers sent him incredulous looks. Loki of Asgard falling to his knees for a mere mortal.

Loki couldn't have cared less.

"You are on Asgard, my Love. This is not the cave. Nobody will harm you."

"…kay…"

It was hard to keep her eyes open, especially when it was so hard to focus on anything, but at some point she managed to fix her gaze on his green eyes.

"Hey…"

"Everything will be fine, Toni."

She did not think so. Rage was boiling under her skin and she did not want to have it there. She did not even know why it was there. Her fingers tingled with the want to burn something. At the same time she felt utterly exhausted.

"Lo… 'm tired…"

"Then sleep. I will be there when you wake up."

She wanted to smile, and maybe she even managed to, but her eyes closed too fast to see his reaction to the tiny smile that indeed did make it to her features.

A tear made it down his cheek. To hell with _I think I might love you_.

Resting his face next to hers on the mattress, he joined their foreheads, his nose nudging hers.

"I love you, Dear. You hear me? You have to get well soon and mock me mercilessly about that."

He almost jumped when her eyes fluttered open again, her uninjured hand clumsily reaching out to his cheek.

"Love ya, too… no mockin' allowed…"

 _Something_ was cooling down slowly. It would find other targets, eventually.


	20. Then: Do not make me choose

**Then: Do not make me choose.**

The next time she woke she did not feel like incinerating everything within reach, and, well, that was some improvement.

She was still on her stomach, and only now she realized that she was naked. Yay. Should she be flattered? Or offended? Should she even care? At least her back was not killing her anymore, that was something good, right?

She did not want to figure out yet how bad the damage was, though, so she just lay there, closed her eyes and breathed. When was the last time she was just breathing and not thinking about how to escape whoever just wanted to kill her, sue her, rip her off, or steal her stuff?

"All I wanted to say was that you have to eat and…"

Oh… voice… female voice…

"I have been eating, Mother, the maid brought something. There is no need to ambush me on my way to the…"

Uhhh, Loki was pissed. And his mother was the reason. Maybe, that was not so good. Before Toni could find out on which way Loki had been, his Mom interrupted him.

"Loki, please, you are holed up in this room since…"

"I promised I would be there when she wakes up, and I intend to keep my promise. What is so important that you cannot accept his simple wish on my behalf?"

"What is so important about this simple mortal that you cannot spend some time with your mother?"

Uh oh… Mommy dearest didn't like her baby boy's girlfriend. Toni almost laughed.

Loki huffed.

"I will spend time with you. Later. My priority now is Toni, though."

Oh, that owned him some brownie points. At least with Toni.

"She is a mortal, Loki. She will be gone in the blink of an eye. She is damaged. She will never bear your children…"

 _Thanks a lot, you old shrapnel, for reminding me of that…_

Loki sighed. "Yeah, because having kids has worked out so fucking well for me the last time." Toni snorted silently… oh, he was so cute when he was snarling in a wannabe Texan twang, dragging out the words like chewing gum, with a witty remark that could have been hers… Then he sighed heavily.

"Mother, what do you want?"

"A mortal, Loki? Odin will never grant her immortality."

"Well, then maybe he can make me mortal."

Okay, it was getting harder to keep her eyes, and especially her mouth closed. This was a fight Loki should not have to fight alone.

"Loki…"

"Do not make me choose, Mother, because I will choose her."

Toni heard the door close, and a few seconds later the mattress dipped. She hummed a silent hmm as his scent engulfed her and encountered a surprised expression as she opened her eyes, one hand reaching out to lace their fingers together.


	21. Now: I AM Iron Man!

**Now: I AM Iron Man!**

Toni heard someone coughing right next to her, and she was not so sure of it had been for the first time. When she looked up, Frigga was standing there, right next to her and Jane, frowning at them. Jane was equally astonished, throwing a side glance at the engineer.

"How long do you think we have dulled out everything?"

"That guy over there is still eating his boar, can't have been that long…"

"What in the nine realms are you doing there?" The Queen of Asgard still did not know what to think about the spouses her sons had chosen. They had built something on the table in front of them, using plates, salt cellars and a mug that was still half full. Volstagg thankfully was still occupied with his meal, so he did not miss his mead that much.

Toni pointed to the mug. "This is the bigger moon, and that one's the smaller one… the plate is Asgard and your tides must be awesome here with the gravity of two moons…"

She trailed off as the Queen just continued frowning.

"You are going to marry the crown prince and the second son of…"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, not that again. I swear, if you continue, I will burn my bra or something…"

"You are possibly carrying the next crown prince…"

"…or crown princess…", Toni interrupted, getting another annoyed side glance. Inside, she was laughing, because she _knew_ it was a boy. Pissing off Queen Mum was fun. "What, in your beloved Norway they changed the law not so long ago that also firstborn girls are not skipped anymore."

Both of them were spared Frigga's answer to that when the large doors to the hallway were pushed open rather forcefully.

* * *

Toni was gritting her teeth while she worked on getting rid of the lower half of her gown. Loki was sliding closer, slowly, but steadily. Trust Thor to fuck up their day-before-the-wedding party even more.

Okay, so it was not really Thor's fault. From what she had gathered some love-sick chick that ran by the name Amora did not exactly agree with his engagement to Jane and thought that showing up at a party, casting a spell over all the warriors in the room to not really get what was going on while her minions were searching for that mortal woman would somehow get her into the Thunder Pants' pants.

And to make things even worse, Blondie was allowed to wear revealing clothes.

Where was Odin-Allfather when you really needed him? Taking a leak, or what?!

Loki had almost reached Jane, after all, he knew that Toni could take care of herself, while he would do everything to keep his nephew safe when one of Amora's lackeys had reached Toni. Yup, she was shorter than the average Asgardian woman, so she must be the one they were looking for, right?

While the minion informed his mistress about his success by just yelling it across the entire room, Loki reached out for Jane and pulled her close to him, moving stealthily to get her out of the war zone. If Amora had a spell on all the warriors in the room to act as nothing was wrong, the Trickster surely had cast some spell to make the minions oblivious to what he did.

Thor whirled around at the same time Amora did, his blue gaze fixing on Toni who did not make any resistance against the lackey's grip, but nodded slightly into Loki's direction. Thor's eyes drifted that way just in time to see his brother disappear with his spouse and a tiny smirk appeared around the corners of his mouth.

"Are you ready to take out the garbage, Man of Iron?" his booming voice thundered through the hall, making Toni laugh delightedly as she continued holding out her hand, the minion behind her making the most confused face Asgard had ever seen. Thor knew what that posture meant, Lady Antonia was summoning her suit, and yeah, how about that, bringing J.A.R.V.I.S. and the suit?! It's not paranoia if they are really out to get you, thank you very much!

Frigga shot her a disapproving glance as the first gauntlet crashed a hole into one window before it attached to her left hand and wrapped around her arm. She finally got rid of the skirt, revealing her pink Hello Kitty panties to an audience that had never seen such a color.

The Queen let out an exasperated huff as other pieces of her armor broke what was left of the window, wrapping around her other arm and her legs. Toni could see that she wanted to scold her when the torso finished off what was left of the glass, but just then Mjolnir came crashing through a wall and flew straight into Thor's hand.

After that the Queen of Asgard just wore a resigned expression, that was quickly replaced by a _Wait, WHAT?_ frown.

Toni deliberately made a show of catching the face plate, effectively blasting the minion that still tried to grope her into the next wall before landing in her patented three-point touch-down, face lifting to direct the glowing blue eyes at her mother-in-law.

"Yeah. I _AM_ Iron Man! You got any problems with a tiny Earth-woman saving your ass?"

With that she aimed her repulsors at the lackey behind Frigga and sent him to the Asgardian version of Dreamland, before taking off.

Thank god Asgard's halls were so frickin' large.


	22. Then: Is it bad news?

**Then: Is it bad news…?**

"You are awake!" Loki watched his little scientist for a long time, bringing her fingers to his lips, kissing them.

"Well… you were not exactly quiet out there. I think it's hilarious that my mother-in-law despises me, by the way. It's so cliché, seriously."

Loki smiled, his hand letting go of hers to cup her cheek. "You had me worried, Love. You were asleep for a few days… and…" He hesitated. Should he really tell her…?

"I'm infected with that orange stuff, right?" She was not stupid. The urge to cause destruction, the feeling of a burning heat inside her… it made sense.

"You burnt two healers while they were treating you and had not realized that you were in pain. They are treating the big warriors here who would rather die than admit something hurts." Loki snorted.

Toni did not know how to feel about that information. It had not worked out for Killian in the end, but she remembered him crippled, so something about that orange stuff had to be good.

"What… are they alright?"

"Yes, they are. They assumed it was remaining heat from the attack… yes, people are that stupid here… Toni… how did you know he would explode… what if…" His eyes were so sad, and she reached out to cup his face, too, glad that he did not shy away.

"I've seen this thing, _Extremis_ , before. Killian approached me more than one decade ago about joining a think tank. That night I was with some biologist and his ficus… Happy maimed the tree, tree burnt, and exploded eventually."

"But… Love. What if…"

"Killian exploded because of the ice… by the way: You look soooo hot when blue. I wanna see that again, preferably when my back is not torched to shreds. And we will play a bit with thermite." An evil grin spread on her lips. Loki smiled.

"Things must be fine if you are thinking of blowing up stuff again."

"I won't explode, my dear smurf… and I guess I have it under control somehow. It also wanted to lash out at you, I managed to talk it out of that…"

Loki should have wondered about Toni talking to _Extremis_. He was too happy, though, seeing her awake, slowly tilting her head, watching him with pleading eyes before scooting closer, finally resting her head on his chest.

"What is a smurf, Love?"


	23. Then: Don't you dare!

**Then: Don't you dare!**

Loki was not amused by the comparison. Toni laughed at his exasperation when she marathoned the cartoon with him when they were finally back on Earth, incredibly happy about the fact that one of their very rare fights that initiated in the middle of her mercilessly teasing him did not turn her into a human torch.

When she stopped mid-sentence, Loki threw her another fiery look, glancing at the orange glow in her fingers. She was studying them curiously, turning her hands up and down.

"T-Toni…?"

"This is sooooo cool. J.A.R.V.I.S., run a scan… heck, use every sensor I have in this house. Lokes, don't look at me as if I'm about to explode. I'm sorry about the smurf comparison, you just look incredibly hot when you are angry… now, would you be up for make-up sex? Otherwise I'll be off to the lab, because…"

He did not let her finish that sentence, his lips crushing down on hers, before hosting her up fireman stile.

"Don't you dare hiding in your lab now, Stark!"

Uh oh, someone was in trouble. Toni didn't mind, though. She was embracing _Extremis_ with every fiber of her being, glad that it aided healing her burnt skin (no way in hell Æsir healers could have healed that without leaving a few scars), curious to figure out what else it could do.

Thank god Loki was not afraid of her.


	24. Then: Just don't mess with me

**Then: Just don't mess with me today**

She could have lived without going back to New York. Yes, Fury was out of the picture now, and Phil was doing a better job in actually motivating the Avengers, even though he was in California, currently, or rather permanently because where Pepper was, Phil was, too. They did fight for this town on the other end of the country, whatever made it this attractive to every super villain wanting to destroy something.

She could have lived without the looks from Barton and Romanoff, the Captain's sad puppy dog views and Bruce's Zen attitude, because today, just today, she felt as close to being PMS-y as she had before Afghanistan and all the crap that had happened to her, and she was not sure anybody would like to have her incinerating people who annoyed her.

Which was basically everyone today. Board members complaining about everything, because it did not make enough money. Bah. Loki being too nice. Bah. Fucking Doom attacking fucking New York while she was substituting Pepper in a Board meeting, because they did not want her to fly cross country anymore. Super-double bah, except for the fact that she won her bet on the baby's gender. And of course the other Avengers. Argh.

She was only seconds away from turning against them and sparing the poor Doombots that were crawling over upper Manhattan like ants if she had to listen to the Captain's orders for a second longer.

She was not even part of that frickin team anymore!

Ripping a bot from her shoulders she smashed it into the concrete, looking out for the cause of this disaster. Doom was always somewhere close by, watching his minions, and she was just in the right mood to give him a piece of her mind. M.A.R.K. XLII needed a new paint job because of that weirdo! And yes, today also that managed to set her off!

"Iron Man, go back to the…" her intercom buzzed again, and this time she growled at J.A.R.V.I.S. to mute them. Victor von Doom was so enthralled watching his bots that he only saw her when she was already pretty close, his hand lifting to fire something at her.

J.A.R.V.I.S. opened the suit in time to let her out before the EMP hit, rendering her armor useless. It crashed into a building close by and while she did her patented three point landing in her under suit, she sent the man who was shrouded by metal a seething look.

"Mortal, you shall not approach Doom…" he addressed her, his hand lifting again.

She dodged whatever he was shooting at her, not caring if it was the reactor that rendered her immune to magic, or if it was _Extremis_ that burnt everything before it could reach her.

Her fist crashed into his stomach, and where she normally would have broken her hand against the plating, the metal was bending unsolicited under her fiery hands.

"Mortal my ass, tin can!"

The villain addressed her once more, talking in third person about himself, so she punched him in the face, knocking him out. While she was thermite-welding him to the steel skeleton of a collapsed building close by, his bots were keeling over.

When the Avengers arrived, Toni was massaging away a headache that started to well up and frowning about a dull, long forgotten pain in her lower back when Loki appeared by her side.

"Whoa, Stark, remind me to not piss you off when you're PMS-ing", Barton muttered as he saw the unconscious supervillain.

Romanoff threw her a… pitiful…? side glance, after all, she knew what had happened in Afghanistan. Barton was lucky that Toni was distracted by Loki's questioning view and her brief nod that she was ok. The Captain turned bright pink and scratched his head.

"How are we supposed to get him off the girder?"


	25. Then: It's good news, really!

_Author's note: I just saw the first trailer for "Captain America: Civil War". Yes, I know I have a pretty big soft spot for Tony Stark, and never really liked Steve, but what I saw there made Mr. Rogers push Sarah MacKenzie from JAG from her throne on my "People I loathe - list", and she's been the Queen of that list for a pretty long time now. His expression at the end of the trailer, when he and Bucky teamed up on Iron Man, who was already on his knees, defending himself... yup, he's definitely made it to the top of my list now._

 _Anyway... new Chapter! Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Then: It's good news, really!**

The demigod was not quite sure if the position Toni was sleeping in was really comfortable, with her lower half turned into one direction, while her upper half was bent into the other.

And why she had decided to bring a hot water bottle into bed was beyond him.

All he knew was that she had been tossing and turning until she finally was in this position and found sleep.

The way this day had started he had been prepared to somehow pry away a raging, fire-spitting woman from anyone who set her off, and since today this even seemed to include an affectionate gesture of wishing her a wonderful morning (which had initiated a full blown rant about what about this fucking morning was wonderful if she had to stare into Captain Spangles' face for longer than a minute and fuck why is there no coffee, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?), he had been prepared to pry her off himself.

Now she appeared to be in pain and only let him know that she had dealt with that so many times before and he should not worry.

How was he supposed not to worry?! She had welded a man to a girder with her bare hands today. Sans her suit. She kept telling him that _Extremis_ was the best that had ever happened to her and once she had completely figured it out she would fill him in completely, _but I guess you can prepare for more than 30 more years with me, Lokes…_

The woman next to him shifted again, groaning as she wrapped herself in the blanket, only to unwrap herself again immediately, lying on her back, the reactor softly glowing in the dark as she sighed deeply.

"J… we got any Naproxen here by chance?"

" _I am afraid that we do not, Madame. I can order some, though, and have it delivered a.s.a.p. from the closest pharmacy that is open for emergencies."_

Toni sighed an "Oh God, please, do that", while Loki was close to hyperventilating when he heard the word emergency.

"Do you want me to call Dr. Banner?"

"Why should I want you to call Bruce?"

"You are in pain and J.A.R.V.I.S. is ordering whatever…?" The AI had said the word emergency, why was she so calm?!

Toni smiled as she finally got what had her bed companion so worked up. Scooting close she straddled him, kissing him as she saw his worried expression in the blue glow of her reactor.

"Don't worry, Lokes, I've been dealing with belly cramps and mood swings on a monthly basis since I was 13… I just never would've thought that _Extremis_ could also repair the damage to my reproductive system…" She was slightly wondering what would happen to her heart…

"It's good news, Sweetheart", she said when Loki still did not look convinced.

"You are in pain."

"Yeah, whoever came up with the biology and anatomy of a human female should be executed. Bad news for you is you'll be wearing condoms again until I figured out if the pill is working with me and _Orange._ And I may go slightly rampageous on a monthly basis now."

"And how is that different when compared to before?" He wore a small grin now, pulling her closer to capture her lips, having her laugh against him as she snuggled close.

"I'm happy, for once", she answered, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

"Me, too", Loki said, and wow… that was a good feeling.


	26. Now: I am a nightmare

**Now: I'm a nightmare dressed as a daydream**

* * *

Thor and Toni were not actually used to work as a team, mostly because she sucked at sticking to Captain America's orders to stay with the team and rather flew ahead and started clearing the path for them.

On the other hand, you didn't really have to work as a team if all you wanted to do was smash some stupid minions into the floor while trying to hurt as few of the other guests as possible.

Somehow, it was hilarious. At every event on Earth where some terrorists were taking over the room, there would have been panic, people tripping over each other to get out of the way of the people fighting.

Thanks to Amora's spell, Asgard's mightiest warriors were just sitting there and wondering why their mugs were being smashed and how their mead was landing in their faces. None of them rose to fight the source of this chaos.

Well, and Amora was actually hesitant to attack Thor, after all she'd come here to win him over. Toni was resistant to her magic and too fast for the minions, so things were actually looking quite good.

Or, to be more precise, they were looking quite good until Amora figured out that instead of blocking all the warriors in the room out, she might rather use them, turning them against Toni and Thor, who suddenly were not only fighting the bad guys, but also old friends of the family going rampageous on the rest of the party.

Loki appeared back just in time to save his mother from being hit by an axe swung by Volstagg, the warrior looking horrified by what he was just doing, obviously he was aware of his deeds, yet, he could not do anything against being used like a marionette.

The stupid thing was that Thor had had the same intention at the other end of the room, throwing his hammer. Toni's heart skipped a beat or two as she saw her soon-to-be husband collapse after being hit by Mjolnir. The blood in her veins froze when she saw who was appearing next to Loki, a mean grin on her face.

"Oh, dear second prince, getting acquainted with Thor's mighty hammer does wear you out, doesn't it?" Amora singsonged, her hand reaching out for the young god.

Normally, either Loki or Toni would have questioned her or Thor how exactly she was _acquainted_ with Thor's _mighty hammer_ and would have laughed about embarrassed faces – at least Toni was sure that by now at least Thor would get the joke.

That bitch laying hands on her demigod, though, made Toni fire up her boosters, having traversed half of the hall already when Amora let her fingers ghost along Loki's neck, throwing the woman in the suit of armor a fiery glance.

"If I were you, _Man_ of Iron, I would stop right where you are." The blonde's attention had shifted entirely towards the unconscious prince in her hands, the warriors around her waking from their stupor.

"How fragile he does look, a simple blade could end his life now." Her forefinger was touching Loki's skin now, trailing his jugular vein, her eyes turning to Toni again.

"Tiny mortal, step out of your armor. You are not in any position to threaten me." Out of nothing, her finger was replaced by a blade, making Toni hold out her hands and gliding down to the floor, landing with a _clonk_.

Her helmet unfolded and disappeared as she watched Amora.

"Do you really think you'll get out of here if you lay your hands on the second prince of Asgard, Barbie doll?" Toni didn't really feel like threatening the other woman, but rather like torching her for Loki's life, still, appealing to her common sense appeared more logical than the other options she was thinking about. It was definitely frightening less people.

"Oh… what a wonderful spell, the Allfather must have cast it himself. I do not think Asgard will care for one Jotun less."

The dagger had disappeared again and Amora's fingers were against his neck again, caressing it, a small strip of skin turning blue as she trailed along, turning back to its normal alabaster white immediately. The people close enough to see what the sorceress was doing, gasped in shock, though.

"Step out of your armor, mortal!"

Loki gasped as her fingers found one of the lines, the skin there so much more sensitive, his eyes fluttering open just in time to see the armor unfold, and Toni stepping out of it.

He would have a serious talk with his brother about throwing around his hammer in closed rooms… when his head stopped pounding and his eyes stopped hurting from the bright pink of his fiancée's underwear.

"Really, Stark, did it have to be _Hello Kitty_ panties?" he croaked, struggling against Amora's fingers as she tried out caressing along the elevated lines on his skin once more.

"Pfft, last time you were not complaining when I was wearing them. You kay?" Toni shrugged, watching both of them closely.

"I might need some help here, Love…" he whispered, his eyes never leaving his spouse.

Amora's grip around his neck turned harder, also focusing on Tony.

" _I might need some help, Love",_ the sorceress spat, her grip making Loki cough as the glamour broke. "You mortal can't help you now, Jotun. You will be my ticket out of here. She can mourn the loss of one helpless, useless Frost Giant for the pathetically short rest of her life."

While before only the closest bystanders had seen what happened to the second prince of Asgard, now the entire room went silent.

"You will let go off my son immediately", a deep, authoritarian voice boomed through the hall, making Thor and Toni look Odin as Amora's head snapped around.

The dagger appeared back in her hand as she found the ring of warriors closing around her and her minions and she tried shifting out of the realm, she tried teleporting, but somehow it did not work.

"I've always been better than you in these kinds of things, 'mora", Loki whispered, feeling his mother moving closer.

"Amora, Dear, please, don't make it worse than it already is. Let him go." Frigga was obviously trying very hard to stay calm, her hands were holding her gown in such an iron grip that her knuckles turned white.

"Why should I? This is a favor to Asgard! One Jotun less! Thor! I am a heroine, I am worthy of you!" the sorceress shrieked, turning around to her minions.

The Thundergod watched her with cold eyes, smart enough to not confront her. Whatever he could say now would set her off even more.

"Get me the mortal. He shall see her perish before I rid our realm of him and make it a better place!"

"How dare you!" Frigga started as the crowd started to part for Odin.

"Get me the mortal!" she exclaimed again, and one of her minions was finally shaken out of his stupor from how things had gone from working well to fucked up in under a second, marching up to Toni.

"Stay away from me or your precious Jotun bastard will reveal the color of his blood!" The dagger was scratching over Loki's skin, making Frigga and Odin stop, while Amora was laughing hysterically.

"Oh, tiny mortal…"

Her minion was about to touch Toni when she revealed her newest party trick. _Orange_ was welling up in her eyes, throwing a fiery glance in the truest sense of the word at the man. He was still brave or stupid enough to reach out for her, screaming in pain as also her skin flared with flames, torching his hands.

Amora briefly thought that this was the moment to stab Loki, get rid of the block on her spell and vanish from the halls of Asgard to lick her wounds. Yet, she could not move, her eyes would not turn away from the woman enclosed in fire who was making her way through her wall of minions, torching each of them while never taking her glowing eyes of the sorceress.

With a scream of pain she let go off Loki, who had suddenly turned so cold in her hands that her fingers turned black, the dagger she had summoned vanishing into thin air again.

She was scrambling back, away from Loki as Frigga and Volstagg dragged him out of her reach. Away from the mortal who almost unbearably heated up everything around her.

"Tiny goddess…", Toni snarled, feeling theatric in her rage, bathing in the fear she could see in the other woman's eyes.

"You do not know what you unleashed!"


	27. Then: Do not mess with us!

**Then: Do not mess with us!**

* * *

The team figured out Toni's alteration a few months after the incident with Killian, when Thanos made his appearance. Obviously, the mad Titan had not gotten the memo that both scepter and Tesseract were stored away on Asgard, or maybe they just got lost and took the wrong exit while travelling there.

The fight was a nasty one, with Clint almost getting killed, Natasha almost bleeding to death if Loki had not dusted off his healing skills, and the Captain almost losing an arm. The only one remaining more or less un-maimed was Thor – because he was on fucking Asgard again. How come that guy was never there when you needed him? Oh, and the Hulk was happily smashing whatever alien race the mad Titan had enslaved this time. Her suit was running on reserve energy by now and to say she was pissed was the understatement of the century.

 _The Other_ had gotten his hands on her demigod and that surged every ounce of protectiveness and possessiveness harbored in her delicate body. She and Loki had an anniversary to celebrate, and that megalomaniac had nothing better to do than attack, of course, New York.

Thank goodness Loki had come around to embrace his Jotun heritage, mostly, because Toni was so curious about his appearance, and boy, it did lead to incredible sex when she was exploring all the lines covering his body.

So currently, he was busy freezing himself out of _the Other's_ grip, not caring about the man's words that once were torturing him. He had no power whatsoever over the young god, anymore. Toni left her more or less useless suit, only to hear the protests of her team mates over intercom.

She stalked over to Loki, tilting her head as _the Other_ sent her an incredulous look.

"Phil just called, Pep's gone into labor, ya wanna play around a bit more or shall we finish this, Lokes?"

"Oh, by all means, let's finish this stupid battle." He was looking forward to welcoming the newest member of their tiny, weird family, as well as he was looking forward to their celebration of their anniversary, including some very dirty fantasies with their favorite red dress.

"Soooo… you're the guy who tortured my Lo-Lo, huh?"

Loki winced as she addressed _the Other._ This definitely would never be his most favorite nickname.

"I will start calling you To-To if you don't stop with this name", he threatened, making Toni snicker.

"Pfft, as if I would care. Ya wanna finish him off or can I roast his balls for what he did to you?"

 _The Other_ was struggling against the icy grip of the demigod, but managed to turn far enough to watch the woman.

"Oh… tiny mortal, I will have a lot of fun with y…" Loki's hand closed around his throat, cutting him off, while Toni just smirked.

"Yeah, about that… tiny mortal was before Toni 2.0", she drawled, her skin flaring with an orange glow.

 _The Other_ never knew what hit him. And Thanos may be immortal. Being shattered to a billion pieces was no fun in that state, though.

The Avengers just stood by as Toni and Loki worked their fire and ice magic.

"Okay, when did you plan on telling us about _that_ , Stark?" Natasha muttered.


	28. Then: I might be ticking

**Then: I might be ticking…**

* * *

Toni leaned against Loki as she stared in awe at the tiny bundle in the crib.

"Wow… If I didn't know that she's the one who has been kicking into my hands all those months, I wouldn't believe it…"

Penelope Ann Potts decided to ignore the people staring at her, and was oblivious to her father's intention on changing at least her surname as soon as possible. Being born was exhausting after all.

Loki rested his chin against Toni's head.

"It is indeed overwhelming when they finally make their appearance."

Her arms closed around his waist as she snuggled closer.

"I tend to forget that you have done this before… you ok?"

"My children, the ones that are still alive… are adults for many centuries now and I was not involved in raising any of them thanks to my fa… to Odin's obsession with old prophecies…"

"Well, Ragnarök will be the tiniest worry he's ever had if he's only looking the wrong way at ours, because I will cremate him before he can say as much as _Gramps is there_ ", Toni growled.

"Ours…", Loki echoed, his eyes never leaving the infant in the crib.

"You know, in the past years it never really was an option, so I chose not to think about it. But ever since… I want one of these, eventually, Loki. I hope it's not creeping you out…"

Her chocolate brown gaze turned up to him. Thanos had exploded only half a day before and the worried lines in his face started disappearing.

After the fund raiser one year ago the tabloids had had the fucking nerve to ask whether Toni Stark was keeping herself a toy boy, and only then she had realized how young he looked when he was at ease.

After _Extremis_ the magazines had wondered who her plastic surgeon was, because he had been working miracles. To be honest there was a time where she would throw herself a look or two in every reflective surface, chuckling about the fact that she was 42 and looked like a 20 year old, and was keeping herself a god as lover.

"Is it…?" she asked when he did not answer.

"Huh?" Loki was still busy watching the baby.

"Creeping you out?" Toni repeated. "I could understand that, with _Orange_ and everything…"

If possible he pulled her even closer.

"No, it is not…I think I would like to finally see a child of mine grow up…"


	29. Then: One year down

_Hi Everyone! I just wanted to say a quick thank you to all the people who fav-ed, followed, or left a review. Thanks a lot! Eve_

* * *

 **Then: One year down, eternity to go**

* * *

Loki beat Phil when it came to proposing. Okay, so Phil and Pepper had their hands full with a newborn, that might have delayed things a bit.

Some people also might not consider it romantic asking such an important question in the middle of thoroughly celebrating the recent explosion of Thanos, not to forget cremating _the Other_ , and the memorable day the celibacy of Toni Stark had ended.

Loki was still panting, his neck and head still flushed, as he closed his arms around her, not caring about her delicate weight on top of him. He wished he could feel the racing beat of her heart against his body as he could feel her rapid pulse surrounding him.

Sometimes, he despised the reactor.

"So… I know the _oooh God!_ was addressed at me… I am wondering, though, if the _yes, yes, YES!_ was the answer to my question."

Toni laughed against his chest before scooting up, kissing him.

"You want it to be?"

The demigod rolled his eyes. "Stark…"

"Can I keep my surname when we get married, or is there some antediluvian Asgardian custom that I must learn how to cook and clean up after you and do the laundry and give up everything I was, because I'd really suck at that? And, no offense, but Laufeyson Industries sounds weird…"

Loki silenced her with a kiss. "You are babbling, Dear. And I am doing most of the above for you, except for the giving up who I am…"

"Yeah, you're the best PA I ever had. Just don't let Pepper know."

Loki just frowned.

"Your ways of luring me away from my toys are just waaaay better than her dragging me out of the lab by my ear because I had not eaten for like two days in a row", Toni grinned, having him roll his eyes.

A kiss landed on the tip of his nose, then on the corners of his mouth.

"Yes, it was my answer. Yes, yes, yes, yes, ye…", she whispered, before shrieking when he spun them around, fully claiming her mouth.

When she was asleep, her head safely pillowed on his chest, Loki allowed a silly grin to spread on his face, before kissing her hairline. Yawning, he pulled the blanket up to cover both of them, secretly glad that his godlike stamina was able to match _Orange,_ err… _Extremis…_


	30. Then: What the!

_Hey everybody! I am so amazed how people like this story, the last few weeks it even overtook WASAN when it comes to visits. You rock!_

 _Little scientist me is experimenting a little, though, posting new chapters for both WASAN and LHWYMP simultaneously - I wanna see who's winning :)_

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Then: What the…?!**

The countless hours of thoroughly celebrating whatever came to their mind had left them utterly exhausted, spending most of the next day in bed, sleeping. At some point, however, they made it out of bed at least, intending to spend whatever amount of time that was left of the day by doing nothing but lounging on the couch, watching mindless TV shows.

At some point, Loki got up to cook something, though, not able to stand his brand-new fiancée's growling stomach anymore. Toni followed him and helped by sitting on the counter, not touching anything.

"How come that you, a prince of all people, knows how to cook?" she asked, remembering her astonishment while she was injured and almost delirious that she had never asked him about being a sorcerer, a frost giant, a man with Daddy issues that almost matched hers.

The demigod sent her an amused smile. Of all of the things she could have asked him in the past year, she always wanted to know the things he was expecting the least.

"How come that you of all people, daughter of a world renowned chemists, cannot stick to a simple recipe?" he retorted, watching her shift on the counter uneasily, her playful mood dampening in an instant. He immediately regretted asking.

For all the problems he had had with his parents in the past, he could always look back to a happy childhood.

The tiny glimpses Toni allowed him to have into hers made him want to strangle all the people who should have taken care of her having a happy childhood, too.

"My… mother never did cook. My father never wanted me anywhere close and when he found out that I actually was not into chemistry he lost the last bit of interest he might have had in me. The servants were annoyed by me most of the time, because I was not the nice, simple, distinguished daughter I was supposed to be, but a reckless tomboy who got herself dirty and greasy all the time."

"Children are supposed to be dirty and greasy, how else are you supposed to have fun?" Loki asked, thinking back to the times when Thor and he had been nothing more than brats that were lucky to be Odin's sons, because otherwise they would not have gotten away with most of the stuff they pulled off.

Toni sent him a weak smile.

"You'll definitely be the better parent, here… I have no references how to be a good one whatsoever."

After putting the pan in his hands off the heat to not burn their food, Loki marched up between her legs and caught her face in his hands.

"Just stay the way you are, my Love. I have never met anyone with a heart as big as yours, as good as yours. When the entire planet wanted to get rid of me, ship me back to Asgard and would have cheered on my impending execution, you were fighting for me, because it was the right thing to do. How many people would have chosen the easy way?"

Her smile got bigger now, with an edge of mischief in it.

"Yeah, you still owe me for that. Do you know that they made me visit a shrink because I kept telling them that you were helping us instead of taking over the planet? Seriously, what super-villain worth a damn would lose the self-destruct button and steer away his army from it?"

Loki laughed.

"Well, obviously this one."

"You never were a super-villain to begin with, Lokes. That was that fucker in your mind. And before you get started on the entire _Thor got banished_ ordeal, he deserved it, and your father was a blind, ignorant fool… you may have overreacted a bit…"

Loki was snorting at that comment.

"Yes, every time I overreact I try to wipe out another race."

Toni was mimicking his gesture of hands against the side of the head now, resting her forehead against his.

"The thing is that normally this is not you. You are this gentle person who cares about me and tolerates my quirks and makes my life so much better and sometimes I am really wondering how I deserve this…"

"I am not tolerating your quirks, Dear, I love each and every one of them", he interrupted her, brushing her lips with his. "Some of them are a bit troubling, and it hurts me to think about how you acquired them, like thinking so little of yourself, never expecting a thank you from anyone, or this weird habit of not wanting to be handed things by strangers or people you don't trust."

"Yeah, well, a lot of shit happens when you are a 14 year old genius at a university with students twice your age with a quarter of your brain, and professors that are jealous. At some point even my mother was complaining that the only person I trusted was our butler Jarvis. But he was the only one ever being patient with me, never judging me…"

"Which are traits that your recent version of butler has been mastering. He must be a remarkable man if you named your creation after him."

Toni's gaze left his eyes, looking down to her lap.

"He was. He died in that car crash that killed my parents when I was 17. I drank myself into oblivion the day I had to attend their funeral but was not allowed to go to his. When I was conscious again there was this program sitting on my computer, asking me what his purpose was."

" _If I do remember this incident correctly, Madam, I was asking you whether you were still alive or if I should call an ambulance. I had figured out my purpose of keeping you save already before."_

"You are such a smartass, sometimes, Jarv", Toni laughed as she separated from Loki to look into these beautiful green eyes again.

"We are way too melancholic after spending the last day fucking each other's brains out."

"You have such a dirty mouth, Lady Antonia", Loki scolded, pecking said mouth only milliseconds later.

"We can go back to ravishing each other after you ate something, though. That growling stomach of yours is rather distracting", he then said.

"Which brings us back to my original question: How the heck does a prince know how to cook?" Her hands left the sides of his head, only to sneak under the hem of the t-shirt he was wearing, circling his waist, the warm skin she found there. Loki shivered as her fingers slipped under the hem of his boxers, fingernails raking over his buttocks.

"At some point during my youth I tried to avoid sparring lessons with Thor as much as possible, because he could not control his strength and I always ended up with broken bones. I was strolling around the palace, maybe annoying some of the servants and one of the cooks thought I should make myself useful. I ended up peeling potatoes… our food will get cold if you keep doing this, Love", he moaned, resting his forehead against hers again.

Toni squeezed him tightly, eliciting another moan before removing her hands, pecking his lips.

"I guess it was and still is relaxing, huh? You always look so at ease when you're doing it.

He was thinking about that observation, because, to be honest, he had never thought about it like that before.

Yes. Actually, it was calming him down, now that he did not have to do it anymore on a battlefield, with his brother, the idiots Three and that bitchy Sif laughing at him and still eating what he cooked.

"Do you want to try?" he asked, getting a snort as answer.

"No! I'll just end up burning everything and destroy what you created. You know me, Lokes, when I do something, I wanna be the best in it. I don't think we'd survive me mastering cooking, though."

He made her hop down from the counter then, grabbing the pan again and putting their food on two plates. They decided to go outside, to the pool, watching the sunset cuddled up on the comfy lounge area.

He actually laughed when Toni ordered J.A.R.V.I.S. to start a movie, only to figure out how exactly well-equipped the lounge area was. But if Toni Stark didn't have an outdoors pool cinema, then who did?

She was half asleep against him while he was still wondering about this fuzzy thing called Gizmo and why feeding it after midnight should be bad. Actually, everything before midnight also was after midnight, just of the day before.

It took him some time to perceive the shifts in the atmosphere, and when he did look up to spot the clouds circling around the opening in the sky it was already too late.

Toni felt his movements, also her head turning upwards, and her fingers dug into his upper arms before he could make her let go off him, push her into a safe distance.

"What the…?!" she started, for her words to be swallowed by the ear-straining sound of the Bifrost. Her terrace was covered in runes, the upholstery of the lounge area most probably ruined.

The first time she had been traveling with the rainbow bridge she had been unconscious. The second time, when coming back to earth she was still weak, safely cocooned in Loki's embrace.

The momentum of landing on Asgard caught her off guard, and if she had not still been clawing her fingers into Loki's arm, she would have fallen.

Her stomach seemed to arrive 5 seconds after the rest of her body.


	31. Now: Ouch

_Okay... so WASAN won my little experiment by a landslide... *pouts*... Anyway, LHWYMP won the race concering who's updated faster ;P_

* * *

 **Now: Ouch…**

It was Thor who moved himself in her way before she could do any real harm to Amora. The expression in her face told the Thundergod very explicitly that this time, Toni was out to kill.

The hall had gone silent when the first orange flames glowed and the _tiny mortal_ cornered the goddess who was only seconds away from either fainting, or begging for her life or both.

Whispers arose when Loki managed to get to his feet again, heavily falling down onto a chair, holding his head, blaming the concussion Mjolnir had caused for his inability to shift back into his Æsir form. Most of the people in the room did not know at what to look first.

The fiery not-so-mortal spouse of the second prince of Asgard… or the Jotun runt their second prince turned out to be.

"Lady Antonia… she is not worth it. Let the guards take her to the dungeons, you are supposed to be wed to Loki tomorrow", Thor of all people tried to reason with her, only to be met with another fiery glance, and then one of Toni's tiny, one-eyed winks she did when she was not really serious.

"Barbie needs to learn a lesson, Thor. Remember, she came for Jane. Do you really want to risk her escaping?"

Actually, Toni was surprised that Amora was still here, staring at her wide-eyed, curling into a ball, now, that a wall had stopped her retreat. Little did she know about Amora's acquaintance with Sutur. Fire giants and Barbie doll just did not work out.

Thor indeed stepped out of Toni's way, still, he made sure to be ready and step in should he have misunderstood the intention of his shield-sister. She wanted to scare Amora, not harm her, and obviously, she was doing a really good job with it.

She really thought the sorceress would beg for her life, and actually frowned when her eyes became unfocused and the woman collapsed into an unmoving heap in that corner of the room.

Odin's "Enough of this!" thundered through the hall 5 seconds after Toni had switched off her fiery appearance and had turned to cross the distance to Loki who was still sitting in his smurf-attire on his chair. Odin's bellow startled quite a lot of the guests who were busy watching the couple reunite.

Ever since Thor's attempt to start a war with Jotunheim everybody knew that Frost giants were not to be touched, their skin freezing everything that came into contact. Frigga dared not touching her son who was still rubbing the back of his head and slightly glad that apparently his skull was still intact.

Toni's question whether she could lick him when she first saw him in his blue glory came to Loki's mind as his spouse did not even think twice before catching his head in both of her hands, making him look at her.

"Are you ok? I swear, Thor's hammer will cease to exist if you are not!" she threatened, not caring that she was standing in the middle of the large hall of the golden palace only in the top half of her dress and pink underwear sporting the white kitten with its bow, barefoot as she lost her shoes somewhere along the way of getting into her armor.

Loki snorted and regretted rolling his eyes immediately as the rest of his head protested against these movements. He caught his brother's movements behind Toni's back, ever so subtly moving Mjolnir out of reach, and almost laughed.

Toni may not be worthy to lift the hammer. She was creative enough to come up with all sorts of thoughtful things to do to the mystic weapon, though, and the Thunderer was sure he would not like any of these ideas.

"I am well, Love… I might feel a bit hungover at our wedding, though", he answered, wondering how hot she felt against his hands as she moved closer to hug him, burying her nose against the crook of his neck.

Her breathing was labored as she addressed him again silently.

"Your offer to teleport us outta here still standing…?" she asked and he had to readjust himself on the chair to be able to hold her weight.

When Loki nodded and told her that the short distance to their chambers should not be a problem even though he was concussed, Toni sighed with relief.

"Make it the bathroom", she whispered, having him throw her a sideglance before following her wish.

* * *

As soon as they had regained stable footing Toni let go of Loki to fall to her knees in front of the bathtub, as it was the closest, to lose the things in her stomach.

Loki's mind immediately returned from that place in the gutter it had disappeared to after her wish for the bathroom, including some very vivid memories of a certain afternoon spent in the whirlpool, as he rushed to her side, catching lose strands of her hair, the helmet of the armor had destroyed that work of art anyway, to keep them out of the way.

He was wondering that what she lost was mostly liquid, but then, he could not recall seeing her eating anything the entire evening, realizing only now that she must have felt sicker than she had let them know to begin with.

"Toni…?" His free hand went to her forehead, hot against his still blue fingers, one incoherent thought in his mind flashing up that he really needed to do something against that.

"Oh… please, leave your hand right there… oh, why did I have to torch her minions… that smell…" she moaned, only to convulse again, tightly closing her eyes against the feeling of her stomach wanting to jump out of her throat, tears running down her face.

She did not see the blood that made Loki gasp, too preoccupied with the next cramp, that had her whimper, her fingers clawing the classy porcelain.

With the sound of metal against porcelain, her pharyngeal reflex disappeared all of a sudden, having her relax against the bathtub while trying to ignore the slightly metallic taste in her mouth.

"T-Toni…?" Loki stuttered, his eyes fixed on the shards in the bathtub, looking so tiny, yet, knowing what they most probably were, he also knew how deadly they were.

"'m fine… pissed with _Orange_ that it couldn't come up with a more pleasant way to get rid of the shrapnel, though…" she groaned, mobilizing the last bit of her strength to lean back against Loki, wiping some of the tears away.

"You're still blue", she whispered then, as his arms closed around her.

"I guess Amora broke the glamor Odin cast when he found me… my head is pounding… I will figure it out once that stopped…" his head came to rest against her neck, making her hum gratefully against the coldness of his skin.

"We should move to the bedroom, try to sleep some of it off", he whispered, her answer being another hum, while none of them moved a limb.

"Toni…", he tried again after a while.

"I'll move when you move…" She sounded like she was on the verge of nodding off

"We will be in this bathroom for the rest of our lives…"

Loki was surprised when Toni sighed and then pushed harder against him, coming to her feet, waiting for him to also get up, shuffling over to the sink to do something against the stale taste, while he got rid of his still intact Asgardian feast gear.

Never had getting ready for bed been more exhausting.

"Should I wake you every other hour? Isn't that what you do with concussed people?" she asked, her forehead warm against the blue expanse of his chest.

"I will be fine. 'tis not the first time my head makes contact with Thor's _mighty hammer_ ", he joked, having her chuckle against him.

"Yuk", was all Toni wanted to say to that topic.


	32. Then: Thank you, Thor

**Then: Thank you, Thor…**

* * *

Loki had positioned himself right in front of Toni before she could even breathe in more than twice, fighting off the nauseous feeling.

She could make out another person in a shiny golden armor, and obviously _her_ demigod thought that other person might pose a threat. The silk boxers and a t-shirt that proclaimed "I'm so adjective, I verb nouns!" changed under her hands that had been clawing at his back, shifting into his armor, including the heavy boots, the long leather vest and the cape (which she was clawing now), as well as the helmet.

"Loki of Asgard, your parents wish to talk to you", the other person said in a thundering voice, competing with how Thor's voice felt after a night of heavily partying.

"Yeah, how about a phone call, set up a date for a meeting, and not kidnapping us without a warning? I know there used to be some sort of etiquette before I left Asgard", Loki snarled, using his angry-Texan voice.

The other man sent Loki an annoyed glance, not that Toni really cared. Her world was still spinning, dragging her stomach along.

"Uh… Lokes… you might wanna take me out of here, before I make a mess in this observatory-thingy…", she groaned and her brand-new fiancée turned around, only to yank her along with the movements of his cape.

Her tanned skin indeed had taken on an olive hue.

"We have arranged for some horses to take you to the palace", the guy in the golden costume continued, ignoring the mortal.

If possible, Toni turned even greener.

* * *

When she woke up in what appeared to be the rooms they had been staying in already the first time when she involuntarily had (had) to visit Asgard, the nausea had not really disappeared. Loki was sleeping next to her, his cool hand on her forehead.

He had teleported them here, and she was still wondering how she had managed the sprint into the bathroom right afterwards. She remembered fragments of how his soothing voice tried to comfort her, while at the same time he was cursing Odin and Frigga for more or less kidnapping them.

"Hey…", she croaked, making the god in her arms jerk awake.

"Good morning, Love. Are you alright?" he asked, his fingers tracing the skin on her cheek.

"As good as new…" At his scrutinizing glance she corrected herself. "Ok, so I don't feel like I have to pray to the porcelain god again. Just don't mention food… or anything that moves. Any clue why we are here?"

"Not yet, Love. I know that Thor is here, and that Mother appears to be quite worked up, and it did not help that I chose on staying with you once more than joining them for breakfast…"

"Urgh, Lokes, seriously, don't mention food…"

Loki silently laughed. "I am sorry, Dear. The Bifrost can have this effect if you are not used to it…"

"Yeah, maybe somebody should calibrate that thing, my stomach materialized five seconds after the rest of me." Snuggling closer to Loki, Toni rested her head against his chest again, catching his hand to once more place it against her forehead.

"The Bifrost does not work like the transporters in Star Trek, Toni", the Demigod smiled, placing his lips against her hairline.

"As long as you don't show me the construction plans, I'll believe it does, Sweetheart." Closing her eyes she relished the coolness of his skin against hers. She would just briefly close her eyes, take a few deep breaths, and then they would figure out what the fuck was going on here.

* * *

When she woke the next time, she was alone in bed, obviously having uncurled from Loki's embrace and having turned to her other side, stealing the blanket while doing so.

Turning to her back she stared into the darkness of the room, glad that the churning of her stomach had finally stopped… ok, maybe not really stopped, but at least had declined. Disentangling from the blanket she was wrapped in she felt how cold it was in the room and decided against getting rid of her shirt to at least see something in the light of her reactor. The faint glow beneath the cotton had to be enough.

She could hear subdued voices behind the wooden door that led to the bedroom, at least, this time people were not yelling at each other like the last time, when Loki had told his mother that he would always choose Toni over her.

Scooting off the bed she flinched as her bare feet touched the cold marble floor, and wrapped herself in the blanket again as she trudged over to the door, slowly opening it to find Loki and Thor sitting there, the Thundergod looking quite worked up.

"I really do not know what the problem is, Thor", Loki asked, his head turning to the opening door, a tiny smile appearing on his face as he spotted his brand-new fiancée.

"Do I really have to explain myself again, brother?" the Thundergod exclaimed, running his hands through his already messed up blonde mane.

"No, Thor, you don't. You got your mortal with child, you should be overjoyed and not ripping your hair out."

Thor opened his mouth to answer his brother, but was interrupted by Toni.

"You knocked up Jane? Go Thor!"

The Thundergod sent her a weary glance and she shuffled closer to Loki, her blanket tightly clutched around her. Didn't these castles have fire places? Why was it so cold in here

"Father and Mother are seeing this differently, friend Toni. I might have… overreacted… a bit when they told me that she was just a mortal, that my place was here on Asgard and that I finally should marry Sif."

"Well, go tell them to fuck themselves and that they can go look for a new crown prince if you cannot have the woman you love and who carries your child. Jane's a self-dependent woman, she doesn't need their welfare, and we can…", Toni was sitting down on Loki's lap and was already making plans to set up Thor with some position in her company, accommodate him and Jane close by and have Loki's nephew around. It would be fun, another kid to spoil for them.

"I did tell them exactly this when they all but ordered me to abandon Jane and my child." Both Loki and Toni now sent him a look that somehow told him they were proud of him.

"I also might have told them that I was to marry my Jane, no matter what they would say… just as Loki was going to marry his mortal…"

Toni shrugged. "Yeah, so? Go Thor!"

Thor just sent her a confused look.

Loki chuckled silently.

"I guess my dear brother is so worked up because he thinks he lied to our parents. And now I finally know why we are here…"

Thor's frown only got bigger, his glance moving from Toni to Loki and back.

Also the engineer laughed now, but it was more at the confused expression of the Thundergod.

"Don't worry, Thunderpants. I said yes already two days ago. And if you would have told _us_ before your parents you would have spared us a lot of trouble… Seriously, your rainbow bridge is worse than any rollercoster."


	33. Then: My husband, Robin Hood, and

_Hey, everyone!_

 _Yes, I'm alive and still kicking. But, as usual, life gets in the way of things you'd rather do. Who would have thought that teaching medical students some physiology would be this exhausting? Seriously, I hope that some of them make up their minds and chose another profession... Anyhow, new part, and please don't be mad if I need some time for the next one. Exams have just started, and let me tell you something: Being on the end that asks the questions is also not easy..._

 _Feedback's always welcome!_

 _Love,_

 _Eve_

* * *

 **Then: My husband, Robin Hood, and the guy with the eye-patch…**

 _ **a.k.a. meet the in-laws, part 1. Yay…**_

Toni looked skeptically at the dress that had been put on her. Sure, she would not meet the King of Asgard and his wife in the attire she had been wearing when the Bifrost had swallowed them, because, seriously, lacey black underwear and a see-through sun-frock were not really audience-gear.

Loki, of course, still had some (or most) of his wardrobe here, after all, he'd not fallen into the Void and thought of bringing hand luggage. She was envying him already now for the leather pants and this green tunic that she would so steal before going back home to Malibu, because it really suited him well and would feel heavenly on her.

"You look very… Asgardian… my Dear", her spouse frowned at the dress, several layers of heavy fabric covering her up, making her look even smaller than she already was.

"Yeah, if I faint because of the corset, make sure nobody sees my ankles, they might faint as well because of the indecent exposure." She was still tugging at the fastenings through the fabric of the dress to get them to loosen a bit, pretty sure that _Extremis_ was working overtime by now to keep her blood oxygenized.

"Is it too tight?" Loki's fingers were still ghosting over her back, not touching her. While she might think that the Renaissance fair outfit did not suit her, he was of a different opinion. While he also favored her regular jeans and t-shirt get-up, or the low back dresses, seeing her in the Asgardian clothes, knowing that she might as well have caused a scene and demanded her things to be brought here, told him that while she was still complaining, she was wearing all of this because she wanted to.

She was doing this for _him_ , knowing that he had already a hard stand with his parents, because, let's face it, after all that happened, they still _were_ his parents, and didn't want to make it even harder by being complicated.

Toni just nodded, wondering if maybe some of her ribs had cracked under this accursed thing, as nimble fingers opened the back of her dress and loosened the fastenings, before closing her up again. It caused her to draw a big breath, yeah, oxygen was a great thing.

"Thanks. Do you have any clue what they might want from us? It's not like they gave any damn about us once we were gone the last time." Turning around her fingers found the lapels of his tunic, brushing them down.

"That shirt is going home with us", she declared before he could even answer.

"You just want to steal more of my clothes", he smiled, bowing his head as she got to the tips of her toes to kiss him.

"Yeah, all of them, all the time. But I guess I should rather keep my fingers to myself, and we should get going, huh?"

That got her another peck onto the tip of her nose.

"Yes, we should. But once we are back home you can let your fingers stray as much as you want, Love. After all, you want one of these, right?" He was using the very same words she had used only a few days ago in the hospital as they had been watching baby Penelope.

To his surprise it made her back away a bit.

"You wanna start trying right away?"

"We will start trying when you are ready, Love, I was not intending to rush you", he backpedaled, not entirely sure why he even started on the topic. Yet, after finding out about Thor's dirty little secret, the thought about creating their very own offspring somehow had leaped up some places on his to-do list.

"Can we talk about that when we're back at our home? After I've faced your Mom, who's slightly scary by the way, and the guy with the eye patch that's the Allfather? Because I will need all my wit to not give him a peace of my mind about all the shit that happened to you and what I think about this phallocratic society here."

Loki slightly laughed at that. "Oh, please, use that word around him…"

* * *

Frigga had been observing her younger son for most of the Dinner they were sharing with Thor, his… mortal, the Warriors Three, Sif, and some members of Asgard's High Society.

Interestingly, it was not the God of Mischief causing mischief this time. They had invited the Warriors Three, especially Fandral, because he was a flirt, he was conversing easily, to take the tension out of the evening. Their last encounters, especially with Loki's… mortal, had be tenuous enough, after all.

The poor man did not know what hit him when he was placed next to Toni, though. She had renamed him Errol Flynn or Robin Hood upon laying her eyes on him for the first time, and after his first casual attempt to indeed flirt with her, Toni had unleashed her years of experience in dealing with men who wanted into her panties, getting them hot as hell and then leaving them blue-balled.

Fandral had exchanged places with Sif after having the undivided attention of one Toni Stark after 15 minutes, while Frigga was marveling at her second son's tender glance resting on his fiancée, and Thor's roaring laughter after Lady Jane explained to him what a Xena was.

Xena… err, Sif, was not really amused about her conversation with the other woman and soon traded her place with Volstagg, who actually managed to hold a conversation with the mortal about a special combat that had taken place ages ago and some roasted animal the warrior had produced afterwards.

Loki by then was conversing with Thor and Jane, getting to know his brother's spouse a little better, the younger god teasing his older brother mercilessly about their talk they had when Thor explained the impromptu trip that Toni and Loki had made to Asgard after his temper tantrum.

The younger God's hand unconsciously found Toni's as Thor explained how they had found out, yet both of them never stopped talking to the people right next to them or across the table. Thor had his arm around Jane's waist, talking as animatedly as always, making his brother laugh, actually, while the tiny woman was smacking the Thundergod's arm, not in the slightest intimidated by the man right next to her.

And suddenly she understood the affection of both of her son's for these women. They did not bow to them, conditioned by centuries of living in Asgard, around its royalty, the rules and the expectations that came with all of that. They did not expect them to be anything they were not, they were just Thor and Loki, not the God of Thunder, crown prince of Asgard, or the adopted Jotun runt who was left to die and deceived by the Allfather.

A glance towards her husband showed her that also he was observing his sons.

To her surprise, Odin wore a soft smile.


	34. Then: Concerning Loki

**Then: Concerning Loki…**

* * *

Toni found herself alone in the bedroom the next morning. She had never done well with breakfast, eating after getting up just made her feel sick. And given the fact that she was still hungover from their trip on the rainbow bridge, she had told Loki to just go and let her sleep.

After relishing the big, warm bed a bit more, closing her eyes again and just thinking nothing, she strolled into the bathroom, minding her business, brushing her teeth, and finding herself putting on the soft, green tunic Loki had worn the day before, before wondering what else she should wear.

The first thing she produced after she went snooping around in the drawers were some warm socks, and a leather belt, making the tunic look like a dress. After opening some more drawers she found more clothes, shoes, parts of his armor? A few books, but nothing too personal. No pictures (not that she knew if Asgard was into photography, but she knew he had a picture of her on his cellphone), nothing that would tell anyone who was.. had been... living in these chambers.

It made her think about their home in Malibu. She knew she was a neat freak when it came to the interior of her houses, and it was a bit clinical and sterile with all the angles and the lack of decoration, if it was not for the waterfall in the lobby.

Her workshop looked way more like her, her organized chaos, the bots wheeling around, grease stains and the smell of motor oil.

The first thing that had changed in her lobby was that there were flowers.

A small sculpture in the living room. It had taken her some time to figure out that it was an eight-legged horse. His first child, his oldest son, had found a home in her house, and sometimes she could not help letting her fingertips caress over the smooth marble.

Paintings on the wall in the kitchen. A snake, a wolf, a girl half hidden in the shadows. It had taken her some time to figure that out, J.A.R.V.I.S. had to do some research. Loki had wondered about her being sentimental that one evening she finally found out that he had also brought his other children.

She did not tell him why he deserved that hug and being pampered for the rest of the night.

A print of the picture they had taken when she had shown him what a selfie was showed up on a sideboard in the living room. Loki was collecting tiny memorabilia, making her home look like… like _their_ home.

She did not pamper him the night after finding that picture. She had him saluting her after she was done with him.

And now she was wandering around in these rooms, his rooms that he had lived in for centuries, and the most private thing she had found were his undies. Hugging herself she let her eyes roam through the room. She wanted to… she had to…

She did not hear the doors opening behind her and actually jumped when his deep, rich voice asked: "Hey, sleepyhead, finally fallen out of bed?"

Crooking his head to one side he took in how she had remodeled his tunic, and how his socks were sliding down her legs, pooling at her ankles.

"This shirt will definitely join us on our way home, Love. I do believe I have some more out of the same fabric in one of the…"

Toni had walked up to him in the meantime, her arms sliding around his waist, her head resting against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, making him interrupt himself, as his arms closed around her.

"Toni?"

"I wanna go home, Loki."

His arms tightened around her, his chin coming to rest on top of her head.

"I know, my Love. I have made our displeasure about this kidnapping well known. Mother was upset about our wedding plans… that we did not…"

"We're only engaged for a few days now, Lokes. Did I forget to ask your Dad for your hand?"

Loki snorted at that, a soft smile playing around his lips as he brought up one hand, tangling it in Toni's hair.

"No. _I_ did not ask _her_. Until I found you, she was my only confidante. You have lured me away, into this thrilling world of yours where I am not an odd man, where intelligence counts more than brute force, where it does not matter whether I am blue or green or red, and where I have made friends and do not have to be afraid to be myself. She is afraid of losing me. Again."

"She's still your Mom, Lokes, and yes, I do have the urge to take you away from here, as far as possible. I am selfish like that, I wanna have you around me, in our home, I don't wanna share you with Asgard. Still, just because I don't want to share, does not actually mean that I won't."

She still did not lift her head from his chest, making him wonder if that was all that had her in such a melancholic mood.

"I wanna go home. But first, I guess we have to really sit down with Pops and Mommy and tell them how this is going to work."

"No more kidnappings, I guess?" Loki asked.

"No more kidnappings. No threatening of our kids. I definitely don't want to end up holding a bowl over your head to keep some snake from dripping venom on you. If they touch you, if they take you away from me, Asgard will be history. And not even Thor will be able to stop me." She was raising her head from his chest now, chocolate brown fixing on emerald green.

"You would raise Ragnarök for me", he stated, and it was not a question.

"I will do many things for you, Loki", she answered, softly pecking his lips.

"Let's go find your parents. And then I really want to go home."


	35. Then: Concerning Toni

**Then: Concerning Toni…**

* * *

Odin had been in court, and Frigga had been off to do whatever the Queen of Asgard was doing, screwing up Toni's plan of getting the fuck outta here as soon as possible.

"If I didn't know better I'd say that as soon as you'd left breakfast they took off to not have to deal with us", she huffed as a servant came back with the notice that neither the Allfather nor Queen Frigga were available in the moment.

Loki just smiled at how impatient she was, being used to people bowing to her will at any given time. She definitely was not used to being in an environment where she was not the most powerful person in the room.

"We will have lunch together, Love, you will meet them soon enough", the demigod said, scooting up on the bed to sit next to his pouting fiancée.

"Yeah, but half Asgard's gonna be there, too, and you may believe it or not, but even I would not discuss my intention to take the entire planet apart if they lay as much as a finger on you in front of such a large audience." She was watching her toes and wriggled them in the thick wooly socks, wondering how her feet were still cold.

"Nothing will happen to me, Toni. We defeated Thanos, I have been pardoned, we are living together for more than a year now, and I could not be happier. What has you so worried, Dear?"

He watched her as she was inspecting her feet, goosebumps rising on the bare skin of her legs, her fingertips that barely reached the openings of the arms of his tunics pressed together.

"I don't know. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to come up with worst case scenarios, with everything that might happen. I've never had anything like this before, and I'm afraid…what if… you know our lives, Loki…"

She did not cry. Yet, he had not witnessed her this inarticulate before. He started scooting closer and obviously these tiny movements were all she needed to turn and throw her arms around him, her head buried against his chest.

"I feel stupid… and paranoid", she said, her voice muffled against the fabric of his clothes as his arms closed around her. Resting his chin on her head, the demigod sighed.

"Don't. Both of us are not used to good things happening to us. It is only natural to feel suspicious." His hands tangled in her hair, softly caressing through the long brunette curls, a mischievous grin starting to spread on his lips.

"However… 'tis the first time none of us is heavily injured or hungover from the Bifrost while being here… and there's nowhere we have to be until lunchtime…"

This caused Toni to lift her head from his chest, scrutinizing him. "Are you trying to distract me with sex?"

Loki just cocked his head. "Maybe yes, maybe no? But I guess you should know that I never had a girl in my chambers when I was still living here, because it would have been highly inappropriate."

The way her glance changed made him think _gotcha!_

His thoughts quickly ventured to other topics as Tony straddled him with a mischievous grin, starting to list what she planned to defile in his quarters and how she intended to do it. They would definitely scar some servants and guards in front of the doors for life, because neither Toni nor Loki were exactly quiet lovers.

On the other hand – they should've known better than kidnapping them in the first place.

* * *

Queen Frigga was slightly worried about how exhausted both her son and his mortal looked when they finally appeared at lunch.

She was also wondering about the hidden glances both received from the servitors, yet, she was still unaware of what spread like a wildfire amongst the servants in the castle, getting all riled up about the second prince and how he was a willing victim to the loose morals of this mortal he had chosen.

Thor was just sending them a knowing glance, briefly kissing his Jane. Unlike Loki, the Thunderer was only spending a fraction of his time on Earth, and still, the concepts of life the mortals had established were so much more after his liking – less restricting, less deploring, more carpe diem, because they had so few of days, anyway.

Oh, he had had his fair share of maids and even an occasional romp on the battlefield with a shield brother or two – still, it had mortified him that Jane had taken the initiative when he would not go for more than chaste kisses, he was still embarrassed about the more than unmanly shriek when her hand had disappeared in his pants.

He had been a panting, wrecked mess in her hands in no time and suddenly it was easy to do what she told him – seize the day. He was no blushing virgin, after all, he could take as well as he could give.

And Norns, it had been hard to leave afterwards to head back for Asgard, her, not only her bed. Each and every time. Because he did not have to think about being the prince. She had seen him at his worst and still decided that she wanted him. Who was he to deny that?

He could see that his brother felt the same, and he could see that it did wonders for him. To see Loki trust and love another person, it was something he did not envision anymore after all that had happened.

Frigga next to him sighed as Toni leaned against Loki, briefly closing her eyes, still smiling in somewhat post-coital bliss.

"The Bifrost really has taken its toll on you, Dear", she said, having Toni direct some heavy lidded eyes to her soon-to-be mother-in-law.

"Yeah, I guess I won't get out of bed for the next few days once we're back home this afternoon", she answered, smirking at how Loki tried to stifle a laugh.

"You want to leave already?" the Queen now asked, her eyes straying to Odin, waiting to for him to say something. The Allfather just kept eating, though, apparently not having heard that their second son and his fiancée wanted to leave already.

Sitting up more straight and looking at the Goddess, the smile disappeared from Toni's face.

"Excuse me, but how would Asgard react if we chose to kidnap Eyepatch over there without any sign of life for three days? I have a business to run and we have friends that are worrying about us."

A sharp glance from the woman stifled whatever Frigga wanted to say about the importance or lack thereof concerning any business the mortal might be involved in, the Goddess getting a feeling that her baby boy had not chosen just a simple human female. The way she dealt with everyone here, her lack of respect, or rather, her lack of bowing to the gods was a telltale of how she was used to be treated in the same way. And she would not back down just because up here people were slightly more durable and called themselves gods.

Toni's glance softened a bit. She was not here to start a fight. She just wanted to make a point.

"Look, it's not like I will keep Loki from visiting, or that we won't come here once we are married, heck, we can have a ceremony here for all I care. But if you want to keep barging into our lives like that…" she wanted to say _I will come up with countermeasures_ , but that would have been threatening, and far from making a point.

"Just give us a chance to actually be ready for visiting here, okay? It's not like I have an entire room of clothes up here like Loki does. Oh, by the way, Hon, did you pack that tunic?"

Toni missed how Frigga's glance turned apologetic as she turned towards Loki who sent her a _when exactly should I have had time to pack it_ glance. Oh, she had indeed not thought about the fact that they had not had any time to prepare. After this … mess… with Thor declaring he would rather be turned mortal again and banished to Earth than abandon his mortal and child she had been furious with Loki and how he had embraced the Midgardian way of living, thinking that he had corrupted his elder brother.

Loki had made it very clear that, first off, Thor knew Jane way longer than he knew Toni, and how could loving someone, wanting to spend the rest of their lives together, be something bad, something their _mother_ wanted to deny them.

"We will have a carriage ready for you to take you to the Bifrost when you are ready", the Goddess offered, having two slightly surprised eye pairs directed at her.

"And we should arrange for some meetings concerning your upcoming wedding here on Asgard."

Odin had to make an effort to not laugh loudly at the slightly horrified expressions both his adoptive son and his spouse presented by now.


	36. Now: I'm blue dabadee dabadi

**Now: I'm blue, dabadee, dabadi**

* * *

Loki woke to an empty bed, slightly wondering how long they had actually managed to sleep. It was not yet dawning outside. Hearing a noise in the bathroom made him sit up in bed, glad that his head was not pounding anymore.

A quick check of the back of his head told him that there was a pretty large bump hidden under his hair, listening up when he heard another cough from the bathroom. It made him jump up when he remembered what had happened only hours ago in that room.

He found Toni taking a big gulp of water, spinning around as he burst through the door, skidding to a halt in front of her. She was wrapped up in their blanket, and he had not even noticed that it was missing.

"Where's the fire, Papa Smurf?" she grinned, making him realize that he was still wearing his Jotun attire. Then he remembered these tiny blue creatures and scowled at her.

"I woke up and you were not there, and then I heard you in here", he said then.

"I was thirsty, Lokes. _Extremis_ got rid of all of the shards, there's nothing there I could puke out anymore. How's the head?"

"Better. It's not throbbing anymore, and I am not dizzy. Obviously I'm getting resistant to getting hit by Mjolnir", he answered, his fingers carding thought his mane again to find the lump.

"Good. So your Mom's mumbo-jumbo worked", Toni said, taking another sip from the beaker that was actually there for rinsing after brushing their teeth.

Blood red eyes narrowed on her as she tried to hold the blanket around herself with one hand. He could see the straps of a shirt she had stolen from him and was wearing to sleep underneath. He could swear she still had been wearing the top of the dress when they went to sleep.

"My mother was here?"

Toni just shrugged.

"You were out like a light as soon as your head hit the pillow. She had to walk here, and before she came they actually had to calm down Thor and search for Jane because you didn't tell anyone where you took her."

And boy, the Thunderer obviously had thrown a memorable tantrum over his lost fiancée. The entire palace was already on its feet to prepare the wedding. Well, actually that had been a good thing, so they didn't have to wake anyone.

"I took her to their chambers. It should not have been that hard to find her. After all I also told the guard that there was someone after the Crown Prince's bride. I think they tripled the people in front of his quarters before I left", the Trickster said. But leave it to Thor…

"You know as well as I that Thor is quite fluent in hysterics when something doesn't go according to plan or it is involving Jane. I wonder if they'd make such a fuss if I went missing", Toni shrugged, remembering how Frigga had rolled her eyes when she told the engineer what a fuss her older son had risen.

"Love, you just wiped the floor with warriors and dark elves as a metal warrior, and made a goddess faint in the appearance of a runt fire giant. Nobody will dare to approach you. What did my mother want?" he changed the subject.

"She was looking for you, of course, after all you were hit on the head by a mystical hammer. She was mumbling something about healing you, hovered a while next to you, helped me out of the rest of my dress and pestered me with questions about the reactor. I guess I offended some people when I refused to let them help me getting dressed. She offered to help me with my wedding dress…"

Obviously, Frigga's view concerning her soon-to-be daughter-in-law had changed during the entire mess with Amora, realizing to what extremes the mortal was determined to go to keep her younger son save. It was finally one thing they had in common, one thing they could agree on. Loki came first.

Loki just nodded absentmindedly. "Did she say anything about…" he made a vague gesture that made Toni frown.

"Huh?"

Blood red eyes rolled.

"I'm blue, Toni."

"Yeah. I thought we had established that I love you whatever form you are in."

Taking a deep breath, the Trickster god sighed, as Toni finally put her beaker down at the sink and started walking up to him.

"I do know that, Toni. But half of Asgard will be here tomorrow, and my current attire is stirring up memories of the monsters they were battling ages ago." Not exactly what you're looking for during your wedding.

Toni had reached him by now, opening the blanket as she spread her arms to engulf him in a hug. "On Earth, being blue means that you are melancholic, and not a monster. I'll ask Eyepatch to renew the spell if you cannot figure it out, ok?"

Loki smiled as he rested his chin on top of her head. Odin… had somehow taken a liking on the impertinent, obnoxious, loud mortal that showed him no respect whatsoever, stirring up millennia-old traditions and conventions. He was even smirking about the nickname she had bestowed upon him, and she was fully taking advantage of the Allfather's soft spot for her. Loki's relationship with him was still… barely existing…

"But just so you know it: I'd marry you also the way you're standing here."

Loki actually laughed at that confession.

"I do not think that mother would be very pleased in me marrying you whilst wearing nothing more than boxer briefs."

"Yeah, but I bet nobody would have any problems with you being blue when you're wearing the boxers with the Hulk-print."

A belly-deep laughter had the god in her arms shaking.

"They are green, okay?" he replied, as if the color alone was reason enough to buy stuff. Pecking her nose, his arms tightened around her.

"Let's get back to bed, Love."

Toni just hummed her agreement, not moving a limb.

"I am not carrying you, Toni."

That got him an offended huff.

"Lazy god", Toni announced before unwrapping him from her blanked and walking around him to stroll into the bedroom.

Loki ambled in behind her, a soft smile on his face as he climbed into the bed and under her blanket, spooning her, nose buried in her hair.

It felt good to hear she loved him no matter how he looked. His skin did not change his personality. Yet, Toni appeared to be the only one who acted after that.

"Just think about it, Lo… you in your Hulk-boxers, me wearing my Hello Kitty underwear", he heard her whisper and had to laugh again, kissing her shoulder.

"They would build the first psych ward on Asgard, just for us", she continued, making him laugh even more.

If possible, he pulled her even closer.

"I love you, too, Toni."


	37. Then: Life is 10 percent what happens

**Then: Life is 10% what happens to you…**

* * *

Frigga did not even give them two days to recuperate from their impromptu travel to Asgard. After all, Toni had announced that she did fancy a ceremony in the Realm Eternal, and obviously, that needed thorough planning. Which meant that the All-mother was visiting more or less every other day for the past four weeks or so. Determined to have the wedding as soon as possible.

Well, obviously people in Asgard did not fancy being engaged for longer periods. She was wondering slightly whether Jane and Thor got visits on the days Frigga was not with Loki and Toni, in order to plan their wedding, too.

Toni gave her free reign over the food, the decoration and the music, because she did not want to argue.

She was fighting tooth and nail about dresses and whom she would bring. Steve Rogers definitely would not be present at her wedding, no matter how much of a shield brother he was according to Thor. She could live with Clint, if he chose to behave. She would designate Natasha one of her bridesmaids if she got to put her into the ugliest dress she could find on either Earth or Asgard, but on the other hand… nope, the widow would also not join them.

Also Fury was a no-go. The fucker had tried to kill Phil, after all, and still, somehow, had managed to weasel his way back into the graces of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s new head honcho. Toni did not believe in the slightest that it had been a set-up, a fake, to get H.Y.D.R.A. off one-eye's track.

She was still trying to find Bruce. They had met occasionally, during their fights, but that was it. No more science binges, no science bro-mance since that fateful day S.H.I.E.L.D. thought it would be good to meddle with her relationship with Loki. Somewhere during the downfall of S.H.I.E.L.D., Bruce had just disappeared, showing up every once in a while, and it was not like she could actually hold that against him.

At some point though, Frigga was really grazing on her nerves, wanting to discuss details Toni did not care in the slightest about, hell, Loki himself, while being a neat-freak and perfectionist did not care whether the printed flowers on the table cards would be on the right or the left side.

She did not care about these things, especially not after a day spent in board meetings and whatever other crap the CEO of Stark Industries had to attend and be actually attentive at, while Pepper was enjoying her maternity leave.

She was a bit miffed about the fact that Penelope was not supposed to travel by Bifrost, yet, so Pepper would most probably not join them. But for that they'd have another wedding on Earth. She could live with that.

She had a headache, she had not eaten for the entire day, and could remember one coffee that an angel of a secretary brought during one of the meetings where she had to make very clear with the people facing her that while normally Pepper was taking care of everything paper work and dealing with their crap, she knew what she was doing and would not let them fuck her over.

They tried anyway, and she left this conference room with a few more people who did not like Toni Stark anymore after underestimating her true genius. All she wanted to do was go home, eat something, and be left alone.

The smell of food when she entered the Malibu mansion made her stomach churn, though, instead of making her mouth water as it normally did when Loki cooked.

Instead of her usual "Honey, I'm home!" that had Loki smile for the rest of the evening like the idiot he sometimes was, she just let her briefcase drop next to the door, shrugged out of her blazer and thought very hard about just disappearing in her bedroom and sleep 12 hours straight.

After J.A.R.V.I.S. informed her that she had guests and that it would be very rude to not greet them as she had already taken the first few steps of the stairs, she turned around, heading for the kitchen.

Loki was indeed at the helm of the kitchen, wearing a dishtowel around his hips, having Frigga's gaze on him with each and every movement. Pepper, Phil, and a stroller with Baby Penelope completed the merry round.

Tony made a silent "Hey", as everyone was still engaged in a conversation that did not give any clue on the topic they were discussing. Four heads turned around to her, as she waved at them and tried to stifle a yawn.

While she got a round of greetings from the two men and her soon-to-be mother-in-law, Pepper jumped off her chair, holding out her left hand in excitement.

The engineer couldn't help but smile.

"So he finally asked, huh?" she asked, giving the glittery diamond a long look. Phil at least had some taste concerning jewelry.

"With a drop to his knee and flowers and everything!" Pepper beamed, as Toni sent Phil a smile that told the other man he would be mercilessly teased about this at some later time point. She did not see Loki's critical look as she made a bee-line to the stroller, peeling Penelope out of her nest of blankets despite the protests all around that the kid was sleeping.

Penelope never woke when Auntie Toni took her. And a sleeping Penelope was very good at switching her aunt's brain off, at least for a little while, while she was sitting on her couch, the baby on her lap, taking in the faint baby-smell and the warmth radiating from the kid in her arms.

When Loki pecked her temple, informing her that the food was ready, her foul mood was mostly gone, and she sent him a smile.

* * *

"Is everything alright, Toni?"

Loki had just tucked them in, serving as a giant teddy bear the way Toni wrapped herself around him, her head pillowed on his chest and he for sure would need quite some time to fall asleep, because it would take some time for her to let go off him enough so he could maneuver her in a way that he could also sleep on his side.

She had only been picking at her food this evening, her banter with Philipp and Pepper had been half-hearted at best, and her reaction to Frigga's announcement that their wedding would be this weekend was a simple "Great."

" 'm just tired, Lo. I always hated that CEO crap, I cannot wait for Peps to come back. And I hate people trying to hornswoggle me as if I didn't have any clue of my business. _I_ brought the company out of being almost bankrupt after Daddy dearest blew almost all resources into finding Mr. Star Spangled banner all those years ago, and they still treat me like I'm fresh from business school."

Loki just continued staring into the darkness, his arm curling around her shoulder.

"So… you are just… exhausted? This is not about…" he trailed off, having Toni lift her head to look at him.

"About what?"

"I did not know that proposing entails jewelry on Midgard. Or a knee fall from the person who is proposing…"

Oh, right… Toni may have oohed and aahed over Pepper's ring properly during dinner, and had made fun of Phil, asking how long the _old man_ had needed to get back up from his knees.

She turned in his arms, draping herself halfway over him to be able to kiss him.

"The way you proposed was perfect, Honey. I don't need a ring. My work actually requires to not wear anything around my fingers that could catch somewhere and rip my appendages off, you know?"

Loki cringed at that though, and did not answer, contemplating what this would mean for their wedding bands.

Toni must have sensed that as she lowered her head again, snuggling against his side. "I'll wear my wedding band, though, when my fingers are in no imminent danger. Well, given the fact that there are wedding bands on Asgard…"

"There are", he replied, his lips finding her hairline as he shifted to his side, closing both arms around her.

The alarm clock on the bedside table showed 4:47 am when she managed to get out of his embrace without waking him, spending the next 20 minutes dry-heaving over the toilet and then resting her head against the cool porcelain.

Great.

Now her nerves decided to make an appearance? Now, that they finally had a date? Not that she minded Frigga taking over also that. Actually, she had joked more than once that they should just elope to Vegas, and somehow she felt like waking him now and do just that.

Huh. Weird.

Well, at least wanting to elope did not mean getting cold feet and running away, right?

Now she just had to muster up the strength to get up from her bathroom floor again.


	38. Then: and 90 percent how you react

_**Author's note:** Dear coward guest reviewer who called me a homophobic kraut and suggested that I write _ actual _GAY FrostIron: Yes, your review (which actually was not a review, but a brazen comment by a brat that wanted to say something hurtful) has been deleted, and yes, I just called you a coward. I have a few other choice words in mind that would be more insulting and most probably very aptly describing a very disturbing lack of intelligence on your side, but it is beneath me to call anyone an illiterate racist._

 _Get a real pen-name, have the guts to review under it and actually get a PM response in return. Or, even better, write and publish something on your own, and please every single one of your readers with it. And while you're at it, google constructive criticism. Whining at someone why a gender-bent story is not a gay story is a bit pointless, isn't it?_

 _You accuse me of being homophobic just because I am gender-bending, and out yourself as a racist in the same sentence by using the term kraut. You just have me shaking my head in astonishment over this antagonism._

 _And actually, who died and made you king to decide what_ real _FrostIron is? This is fanfiction for a reason, you know? You don't have to read it if you don't like it, and you're not the boss of me, so as long as you're not paying me for it, I am free to write anything I like._

* * *

 **Then: …and 90% how you react to it…**

She did make it back into her bed, eventually, and even managed to crawl in front of her big spoon without waking Loki.

When she woke the next time, it was not because J.A.R.V.I.S. told her about the events happening around the world, Phil calling for anything she needed to re-invent for S.H.I.E.L.D., or SI falling apart because she was not constantly having an eye on it like Pepper.

Sun was tickling her nose, single rays of light straying into her bedroom through not entirely closed curtains and she leisurely stretched herself, arms above her head, toes curling as she exerted her leg muscles, not even trying to stifle a hearty yawn.

"J, buddy, what time is it?" It happened very rarely (actually, never) that she woke before her alarm clock, mostly because she either needed an unhealthy time to finally fall asleep, or was waking up multiple times in the night.

When J.A.R.V.I.S. announced that it was almost noon, her heart started racing. She was pretty sure that she had three meetings this morning, one starting at half past eight. She was also pretty sure that all of those were in her calendar, and normally J.A.R.V.I.S. was anal enough to remind her multiple times about anything that she might try to forget simply because it was annoying her.

And this meant that something must be wrong with J.A.R.V.I.S.. So God help S.H.I.E.L.D. if they tried hacking him again, if they had managed to alter anything. Phil was her friend, but she still would not put it beneath the agency to try and get their fingers on the most advanced AI that existed.

This thought alone rendered her more awake than any cup of coffee ever managed to do, and she would have jumped out of bed and searched for the next best thing to check her electronical butler's coding, if not for a long, pale arm that sneaked around her waist, effectively pinning her down in a half-sitting, half-lying position.

"Lo, let go off me, I have to…"

The arm just moved a bit, a hand coming to rest on her cheek, turning her head so she was facing the god in her bed who had his face still in his pillow, so she could only see the one half that wore an amused smile.

"I'd rather keep you in bed for a bit longer, Love."

A steep furrow appeared between her eyes.

"Lokes, I am late, and Peps is going to have my head for not meeting with that annoying groper from Dynacorp, and actually I was looking forward to breaking a finger or two if he really dares to touch. Something is wrong with J.A.R.V.I.S., and you want me to stay in bed with you?!"

Wow. She never would have thought she of all people would chose business over pleasure for once.

Loki stoically continued smiling.

"Well, then I guess you can count yourself lucky that your fabulous personal assistant managed not only to move your appointments to tomorrow because of a family emergency, but also sweet talked your butler into letting you sleep in."

Toni just threw him an incredulous look.

"My fabulous what?"

Loki just grinned.

"May I introduce myself? Loki Laufeyson, PA, bodyguard, fantastic lover and badass warrior-mage, at your service."

This actually made Toni laugh a bit, scooting down to a lying position again, still facing him.

"You forgot personal cook and cuddle-buddy", she teased as he lifted his head from the pillow, scooting a bit closer.

"That was included in the fantastic lover comment, of course", he smiled, his face turning more sincere as he moved to halfway tower over her, his hand once more caressing her cheek, brushing stray locks of bed hair out of her face.

"Of course. Huh, my fiancée might be jealous, you know. He could kick your ass."

Loki did not joke back this time, continuing his affections.

"Your fiancée is more worried than jealous, Dear."

Moving above her he took his place between her legs, bracing himself on his elbows as his hands dug into her brunet mane, resting his forehead against hers, slightly brushing her nose with his.

"You are exhausted Toni, and still you refuse any help. You are working for both S.H.I.E.L.D. and your company, day and night, and I should not worry about you?"

This made Toni lower her eyes, her hands that just automatically had lifted to be wrapped around his back stopping mid-air.

"B-but… Pepper…"

Loki sighed.

"Love, Pepper has three personal assistants at SI that work for her, two of them have been working for her since you gave her free reign over whatever she needed to be your perfect PA 15 years ago. You do not have to do everything on your own, Toni."

Toni just stared at him in confusion. What?!

"Please tell me you did know that…" Loki gasped as he got no response.

"I… I never cared, to be honest. Everything was always running smoothly with Peps, and with you around here it also does… I… I should put some more effort into… I…" Oh Lord, was her head wrapped around her inventions that much that she really did not care who was making it possible that she could just tinker away?!

Loki simply kissed her while her hands finally came down to rest on his back.

"No, Love, all you have to do is staying the way you are. You were never made for paperwork, for administration, for adhering to structures and order. You are a creative mind, you are chaos and inspiration, and I would prefer very much that you stayed that way. Leave the structures and the paperwork to me, will you?"

"You're the God of Chaos, Lokes, you should be running away screaming from paperwork and structures."

He was nosing against her again, making her chuckle.

"I _love_ to keep _my chaos_ organized."

Her lips found his after that, sharing tender kisses, enjoying the weight of his body on top of her, and still he could feel her mind running a mile a minute. With a sigh he broke the kiss, once more resting his forehead against hers.

"Toni, what ails you?"

She was fidgeting a bit, fingers running over his shoulder blades.

"So… J.A.R.V.I.S. is alright?"

It made him laugh.

"Yes, love, J.A.R.V.I.S. is alright. He helped clearing your schedule for today and is still working on a portable version of himself… I guess this is why he is so silent."

It got him another confused glance.

"Portable version?"

Loki nodded.

"Yes. Your son is dead-set on joining our wedding ceremony on Asgard not just in his limited version on your cellphone. You told him he could borrow one of the suits."

Toni just let her head fall back into her pillow.

"Great. I'm so busy with dealing with heaps of paper and old men that want to swindle me out of company and money while trying to grope my ass that I miss my baby making himself a body."

Loki narrowed his eyes on her.

"I will join you to this meeting tomorrow. If he cannot keep his hands to himself, _I_ want to be the one breaking his fingers."

To his surprise, Toni laughed heartedly at that.

"Great, so next to my understanding fiancée, my fantastic lover, and my irreplaceable PA I also have to be _grateful_ to my brave bodyguard?"

The voice she used made it straight to his groin, his blood vacating his brain too fast to come up with a witty answer. He chose kissing her again, instead, humming as her hands left his shoulders and slipped under the covers to grope his ass.

"Maybe I'll also sexually harass one or two of them while I'm already at it", she whispered, making him laugh under his breath.

"I could create a clone or two for that fantasy, you know?" he asked, only to be groped again, this time releasing a rather un-manly squeak.

"Honey, you won't be coherent enough to think your own name, not to mention keep the concentration for any of your clones when I show you _how_ grateful I am for this day off."

She moved underneath him, by far not strong enough to manhandle him onto his back, but he got the hint, anyway, letting himself be maneuvered into that position, her light weight coming to rest on top of him.

She was mimicking his position from before, fingers carding through silken black hair as her pink tongue darted out to lap at his lips, coaxing him into a deep kiss that left both of them breathless when they needed to come up for air.

Loki's hand found her cheek once more, thumb caressing over her cheekbone.

"You won't run away to help J.A.R.V.I.S. now?"

Toni just smiled, leaning into the touch.

"J.A.R.V.I.S. is a big boy, he will ask for help. Thank you, Loki."

The frown on his face showed her that this needed a bit more explanation. So she peppered his face with tiny kisses while explaining.

"Thank you for caring. Thank you for being there. Thank you for intervening when I go into a dark mood. For loving the weird person that is me. For putting up with me. For…"

He silenced her then with yet another kiss, somewhere in the back of his mind thinking that he should thank her for exactly the same things.

Coming up for air, Toni once more rested her head against his.

"It really needs four people to organize my life?" she then asked, making Loki laugh.

"Well, Pepper needed three more people. I, though, have a system."

"Oh. You have a system", Toni echoed, a smirk playing around her lips.

"Mmmhmmm. I could show you, you know."

He slowly turned them again, once more bracing himself on his elbows as his lips found her collar bone, Tilting her head back, she gave him better access to her neck.

"Hmmm. I think I like your system", she purred then. "I have a system of my own, you know?"

"Oh, you do?" His tongue dipped into her jugulum, then followed her skin down to the valley between her breasts. "Maybe we should compare, see if they're compatible?"

"Oh, Sweets, I bet they're very compatible", Toni sighed.

So far? Best day off ever. All thoughts about Vegas that had haunted her a few hours before were long forgotten.


	39. Then: Momma's boy

**Then: Momma's boy**

The travel with the Bifrost once more left Toni with a nauseous feeling in her stomach and curiosity spiking to unknown heights in her brain. It was simply unfair that Jane got to ask that Heimdall dude all possible questions, at a faster pace than he could actually answer them, while Toni was forced to hold onto Loki to manage standing upright.

Heimdall might've been a bit distracted, though. Not only did he not know how the Bifrost worked, he just knew how to use it. Mostly, it was the red and golden armor, though, that was standing behind the second Prince of Asgard and his spouse that caught his interest. It was closing the distance to Prince Loki and Lady Antonia surprisingly fast, reaching out for the mortal female as she swayed on her feet at the same time as Prince Loki let go of an equally red and golden suitcase to wrap her in his arms.

"I'm telling you Lokes, the thing needs to be calibrated… stomach arriving five seconds after the rest of me…", she breathed out the same second that the armor had wrapped metal fingers around her arm, cold blue eyes fixing on her.

" _Madam, I suggest you lay down somewhere to rest."_ The eyes glowed even more, roaming over the mortal's body while Heimdall was drawing his sword, pointing it at the armor. He could see everything between heaven and earth; he was following humans, Asgardians, Norns, even Jotnar, and Elves of interest with an easy eye. Whoever it was in this armor, he had escaped his gaze so far, and it had been resting upon the Trickster God and his chosen one more often than not in the past few months.

"Reveal yourself to me!" Asgard's watchman yelled, having just as much of an indoor voice as Thor who actually was stepping up behind the Guardian of the gate to the Realm Eternal, and startling the older God when he put his hand on his shoulder.

"Lord Heimdall, I assure you the Lord J.A.R.V.I.S. does not pose any threat. He is here to represent the Lady Antonia's family."

Actually, except for Pepper, Penelope, Phil, and Loki, he _was_ Toni's family. He and her other two bots. Toni was still sad that she could not bring DUM-E and U along. Loki had already been worried about the two suits she wanted to bring, fearing exactly this reaction from the Asgardians. While they claimed to be more advanced than mankind, they would not react favorably of artificial life. Especially if they were as eccentrical as DUM-E.

"No warrior shall enter the Realm Eternal with his face hidden from me!" Heimdall grouched, still not taking his sword down.

"Reveal yourself!" he ordered again, blocking the exit to the rainbow bridge where two carriages were waiting for the two princes of Asgard and their spouses (and Toni's luggage, who, at least this time, was coming prepared for every eventuality - Not being kidnapped helped planning stuff like that tremendously).

The armor stood straight again, facing the God in the golden armor who was still pointing his sword at him, before turning those blue glowing eyes at Thor.

" _I assumed Asgard to be more hospitable, Your Highness. After all, it is the wedding of my_ Mother _that we are here to celebrate."_ The mask turned back to Heimdall. " _I assure you, my name is on the guest list."_

Heimdall apparently did not care for guest lists, or the fact that not only prince Loki, prince Thor, the Lady Jane, or even Queen Frigga might vouch for whoever was in this armor. They could simply explain the fact that a computer program was running the suit, and that there was no actual person in there.

But where would be the fun in that?

"You will not leave this observatory until you have lifted the faceplate!"

Loki rolled his eyes at that, while Toni could not hide a smile as J.A.R.V.I.S. turned his head towards her, as if asking for permission… or making sure that she was watching. J.A.R.V.I.S. was a sneaky bastard, maybe he was having fun teasing the old God right now.

Scratch that, she was sure that he was having fun, and actually, it made her laugh despite the feeling of wanting to hurl into the next corner (which was actually a challenge in a round observatory…).

Loki frowned at her, before he realized what would happen now, and how maybe he played a role in it. While J.A.R.V.I.S. originated completely from Toni's genius, the past year spent around Loki and his sense for practical jokes, pranks, and his latent ambiguity had definitely formed an aspect of the AI's humor.

Needless to say that J.A.R.V.I.S.'s form of humor was also very British and sometimes bordering on cruel. Toni very rarely (read as: never) had a problem with that.

So while every other artificial intelligence would have lifted the faceplate (haha, good one, DUM-E would have used his fire extinguisher on Heimdall) and would have revealed the tons of cables, processors and storage that was stuffed in there to keep something as elaborate as J.A.R.V.I.S. running, J.A.R.V.I.S. topped it off by answering with a posh " _As you wish."_

And then he simply removed his head, tucking it under his arm.

"He takes after you, Darling", Toni snorted, clearly alluding to this one incident with the dwarfs that were most probably still debating where the neck ended and the head began.

"I actually never lost my head, Love, so I completely blame this behavior on your marvelous good influences", the dark-haired God whispered, smiling at the proud look his spouse wore.

Heimdall, on the other hand had blanched, was gaping like a fish, and even forgot to wave his sword.

He still stood there, eyes wide open, unmoving, when Loki had guided Toni around him and placed her in the carriage after making sure that she felt up for the drive, and the armor that housed J.A.R.V.I.S. had put his head back on his shoulders before taking off to slowly follow the vehicle. Jane was still silently giggling while Thor patted Heimdall's shoulder again, before collecting his fiancée and headed out of the observatory.

"There… there was nobody… there was…" Heimdall stammered, his sword still pointing into thin air.

* * *

 _Author's note: I think I just broke Heimdall... LOL_


End file.
